[benellis58]

Have you read the new bestseller?

It's co-authored by Johnny Halfwit and Donald J. Dumbo. It's called "How to Create a Lousy Score Out of Thin Air".

There's a rumour that a pair of ballad singers from the 1980s might record a song to accompany the book.

https://www.bridgeba...CS9%7Cmc%7C7%7C

[benellis58]

Double? DOUBLE?? DOUBLE???!!!

Maybe the GIBBO twit should read his own GIB definition of what the double is supposed to be.

https://www.bridgeba...CT%7Cpc%7CC8%7C

[benellis58]

Superstooge in the West leads as ONLY a GIBBO robot can.

Later, after winning his spade ace, he continues the assault on his "PARTNER'S" heart suit by continuing with the same boneheaded "strategy" with which he began his typically impotent "defence".

In the process, he manages to set himself up to be the victim of a pop-up squeeze at trick eleven.

Just another day in the life of "Mr. X, Agent GIBB007, World's Worst Defender". Soon coming to a screen near you.

Rumour has it that the titular hero is based on a composite of Johnny Halfwit and Donald J. Dumbo, and includes actual hands that they played.

Apparently Dumbo's makeup artist is expected to be nominated for an Academy Award.

https://www.bridgeba...C7%7Cpc%7CS9%7C

[benellis58]

Frequent contributor and fellow GIBBO non-fan OMARHEUM has sent two hands today, which will appear in this post and the next.

For this first hand, OMAR writes "This was a Just Declare auction, so all bids were mandated and obviously recommended by GIBBO. North invites a no trump slam even though the maximum possible North-South combined HCP holding is 32 points. South accepts with 20 HCP, the fewest he could have, given his 2NT opening bid. VERY luckily (and quite atypically on BBO), everything lies well for declarer and I end up making an overtrick in my MANDATED 6NT contract."

My comments:

North was VERY pushy, for the reason OMAR mentioned. Besides KNOWING that even if South had a maximum, they would STILL be below the accpted standard of 33 HCP for 6NT, North did not even have a significant trick source, considering that he had no suit of five cards or longer.

Meanwhile, South was offered an invitation and...ACCEPTED it (!) despite having a MINIMUM for his auction to date and despite ALSO having no significant trick source.

These GIBBO imbeciles (given that the NS bids were MANDATED) lucked out when the KJ of hearts AND the KJ of clubs were...ALL onside! The only time these GIBBO reprobates can manage to score decently is when Lady Luck SAVES them. GIB/GIBBO rots.

When OMAR cashed dummy's spade queen at trick nine, East was squeezed in hearts and clubs, so OMAR succeeded in taking all four of the last four tricks, to wrap up his overtrick in the very lucky (and very poorly bid) slam.

https://www.bridgeba...CT%7Cpc%7CH9%7C

[benellis58]

For his other hand, OMAR writes "This was also a MANDATED auction. West could - and should - have led the ACE of clubs, which I think asks East to drop the queen if he has it. That would have solved West's (ha, ha!) "dilemma" about whether to continue. Even AFTER West foolishly led the king, East should SURELY have signaled with his EIGHT of clubs at trick one, rather than STUPIDLY misleading his so-called partner by imbecilically playing his five. West kept shifting suits, hoping to find an entry to East to lead a club through, but East could not have an ace (based on the bidding and West's hand).

My comments:

Not much to add, since OMAR has pointed out the various blunders that BOTH these GIBBO pieces of trash committed en route to producing a typically laughable and typically wretched GIBBO "defence". GIB/GIBBO rots. GIB/GIBBO consistently rots.

https://www.bridgeba...HA%7Cmc%7C11%7C

[benellis58]

I'm currently playing a game with three GIBBO robots, and I am noticing what I notice every time I play with three GIBBO robots.

What I (constantly) notice is that their system is hopelessly antiquated, illogical, redundant yet ironically vastly incomplete, and basically an unworkable joke. Did someone somewhere actually think he was creating a GOOD system?

I also (constantly) notice that the GIB definitions are not only the worst bridge definitions that I have ever seen, but that they are also the worst definitions of any kind that I have ever seen anywhere. They are poorly written, illogical, often inaccurate, often actually dishonest, frequently incomplete, far too often fail to actually define the call they are supposed to be defining, and often include totally unnecessary, completely useless, even insulting bilge. In addition, these pathetic GIB definitions sometimes even contradict themselves within the same definition. Did the creator of this total garbage actually think he was writing good definitions?

Then I notice that the robots are the worst bidders I have ever seen. In their defence, how could they be good bidders when saddled with such a terminally hopeless system and such utter garbage for definitions?

I also notice that GIBBO robots are the worst opening leaders I have ever seen - except for their immediate GIB predecessors, who (incredible as it might seem!) were even worse.

I also observe that GIB/GIBBO robots are worse "defenders" than any human players I have ever encountered.

In fairness, I do notice that GIBBO robots are better at declaring than they are at bidding, leading, or defending. Unfortunately, though, they are not particularly good even at declaring.

Ultimately, I (constantly) notice that GIB/GIBBO is pure, unadulterated garbage, and I wonder why - in 2026 (!) - with FAR better robots now available - GIB/GIBBO even continues to exist.

[benellis58]

As usual, the typically fleabrained and useless GIBBO in the West makes a stupid lead. GIBBO robots are nothing but trash, just like GIB.

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/3sytmv5k

[benellis58]

The nauseating piece of GIBBO garbage in the North bids 4S for no reason whatsoever...apart, that is, from his phenomenal world-class stupidity. Luckily, I scored 60.7 % on the board for down two, undoubtedly because other humans were also victimized (as usual) by the GIBBO piece of dirt that they were saddled with as their "partner". GIB/GIBBO should long ago have been blown up, buried in a landfill, dropped with heavy cement blocks into the world's deepest ocean, or sent off in a rocket to Pluto. Sadly, none of that happened, so GIB/GIBBO is still here polluting every bridge game in which it appears, and basically contaminating the entire bridge world with its disgusting, humiliating presence.

In case you're wondering, the answer is no, I do NOT have any respect for GIB/GIBBO. I have nothing but contempt for the disgusting abomination, which is an ugly blotch on the face of bridge. GIB/GIBBO sucks pumice.

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/2p89dzcy

[benellis58]

SUPERC.R.E.T.I.N. in the West wins his diamond ace at trick two, and of COURSE returns a diamond at trick three.

SUPERC.R.E.T.I.N. in the East wins his heart ace at trick seven. and of COURSE returns a heart at trick eight.

Clearly, these two disgusting GIBBO numbskulls deserve each other.

https://www.bridgeba...H9%7Cmc%7C11%7C

[benellis58]

Declarer South, in 3NT, wins...all thirteen tricks.

Yes, East-West COULD have defended better.

Yes, East-West WERE...those hideous GIBBO robots. How did you EVER guess?

https://www.bridgeba...CT%7Cpc%7CDQ%7C

[benellis58]

Question: Are GIB/GIBBO robots the worst "bridge players" you have ever seen?

Answer: I cannot tell a lie. Yes, they are.

[benellis58]

INCREDIBLY stupid 3NT bid - EVEN for a hopeless, useless piece of junk GIBBO robot!

The clueless trout in the West is 5-5 (!) in the majors (!), has a 5-5-3-0 shape (!) with a void (!) in his "partner's" suit (!)...and decides that NO TRUMP (!!!) MUST be the ideal spot.

He does this immediately, arbitrarily, and completely unilaterally - because in addition to being a truly wretched "bridge player", he is also a truly wretched "partner". He is pure garbage any way you look at it.

To make his bid even MORE stupid, he LEAPS from ONE no trump to THREE no trump with "only" 11 HCP...to ENSURE that he COMPLETELY misdescribes his hand in both shape AND strength.

Even IF 3NT happened to be the "right" spot on the hand, it would STILL not justify this contemptible bozo's ridiculously bad bidding.

Is there still ANYONE...ANYWHERE claiming that these GIBBO pieces of TOTAL garbage are "better than most human players"?

GIB/GIBBO is a pathetic, useless, cringeworthy joke that completely rots at all facets of bridge.

https://www.bridgeba...C9%7Cpc%7CCK%7C

[benellis58]

Typical GIBBO "defence". In other words, inept and laughable.

https://www.bridgeba...D6%7Cpc%7CH8%7C

[benellis58]

Knowing that GIB definitions are almost always pathetic, we are never surprised by how bad they are.

Here, South's 3S and 5D calls are both defined as showing "4- spades". Four MINUS? Why the MINUS? South opened 1C and then bid 1S over his partner North's 1D response. Guess what, Mr. GIB? That...SHOWED at LEAST FOUR SPADES.

In fact, Mr. GIB, your OWN definition of 1S said that it showed "4+ spades". That's four PLUS, Mr. GIB - NOT four MINUS. Then...your OWN definition of South's subsequent 3C call said that it showed "4 spades"...EXACTLY four this time, not four PLUS, but DEFINITELY NOT four MINUS!

Mr. GIB, how is it that you cannot even have consistency within your OWN definitions? When you created this pathetic compendium of the worst definitions the world has ever seen, did you honestly think you were doing a GOOD job? And how is that after all these years no one has cared enough to proofread or correct this collection of useless descriptions?

BTW, the definition of 5D also foolishly claims that the bid promises "2D". NO, Mr. GIB! NO, it DOES not and it SHOULD not!

For more laughs, check post #2695, which immediately follows this one. It will show the same board but from another table, and you will be treated to a HORRENDOUSLY bad "defence" by the always pitiful GIBBO jackasses siting EW. GIB/GIBBO is the worst EVER!

https://www.bridgeba...S8%7Cmc%7C11%7C

[benellis58]

Okay, as promised in post # 2694 immediately above, here is the same board but from another table.

Here, it seems that the anonymous human South was either operating, taking a flyer, or perhaps making a bidding error...since he chose to bid 3NT with a heart "stopper" of 62 doubleton.

He actually lucked out, since North had the Q75, and VERY fortunately the ace and king were BOTH in front of North's queen...BUT...West led his fourth best-heart (the 3) from AK83 and declarer called for dummy's FIVE (!) from Q75! On RARE occasions with RARE layouts, this could be the winning play, but usually the normal and best play is to pop dummy's queen and just pray that West underled the AK. That would have worked on this hand, but as I already mentioned, South called for the FIVE, so when East played his 9 from J1094, the 9 won the trick.

BAD news for declarer, right?

Well, against a "defender" with even a teensy-TINY bit of ability, even an infinitesimal IOTA of ability, it would INDEED have been bad news for declarer. But here, perhaps South "knew his customers", because HERE the "defender" in the East was a stinking piece of trash known as a GIBBO robot, so HERE the "defender" in the East did NOT have EVEN a teensy-tiny bit of ability or EVEN an infinitesimal iota of ability. HERE the "defender" was a miserable, useless GIBBO piece of trash who has probably never gotten ANYTHING right in his entire cursed existence.

After WINNING his NINE of hearts at trick one, the indescribably stupid GIBBO piece of garbage in the East...SHIFTED (!!!) to the jack of spades (from J985)at trick two...and declarer took ALL 12 of the remaining tricks. Declarer didn't EVEN have to finesse East for his (onside) king of clubs, because East PITCHED (!) his king of clubs to ensure that declarer could NOT go wrong.

Where are all those GIBBO defenders and apologists who used to PROUDLY proclaim that GIB is "better than most human players"? I haven't heard from ANY of them for a long time. Golly gee, I wonder why?

https://www.bridgeba...HQ%7Cpc%7CHJ%7C

[benellis58]

Stupid lead, wretched "defence". What else is new?

There's a saying that "You can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear". Here's another saying: "You can't make a BRIDGE PLAYER out of a GIBBO robot!"

https://www.bridgeba...CK%7Cpc%7CCQ%7C

[benellis58]

My regular complaint about the hopeless absurdity of GIBBO's 2C system. I've discussed in several previous posts why the 2NT response is imbecilic, so I won't waste my time or yours repeating the NUMEROUS reasons that it's foolhardy, but I do want people NEVER to forget what utter garbage the GIBBO 2C structure is, so that's why I'm mentioning it here. GIB/GIBBO is the worst.

https://www.bridgeba...HJ%7Cpc%7CHQ%7C

[benellis58]

HERE'S something good for a laugh:

South, declaring 6S, wins his diamond ace at trick one. At trick two, he leads his king of hearts (from KQ98), hoping that West will cover. When West follows with the 2, declarer RUFFS in dummy.

East, with AJ doubleton of hearts...plays the...ACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Declarer is therefore later able to pull trumps, CASH (!) his QUEEN (!) of hearts (dropping East's JACK), and set up ANOTHER heart winner via a ruffing finesse, using his 98.

I guess East remembered that it's USUALLY right to play third hand HIGH, but maybe someone forgot to tell him that an exception is when dummy...RUFFS!

I've said it before: These hopelessly inept GIBBO clowns are funnier than Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David combined. There IS a difference though: It is the JOB of Jerry and Larry to be funny...but these sickening GIBBO warthogs are not TRYING to amuse us; it's just that they are SO irreparably foolish that their ignorant, buffoonish actions create laughter just about every time they touch a card. They are funny...but they are also hideous and disgusting. Above all, they are hopeless at bridge.

https://www.bridgeba...HT%7Cmc%7C13%7C

[benellis58]

I have no problem with North's 3NT bid or the 100 % we scored on the board, but I will point out that the GIB definition of 3NT claimed that it showed "8+ HCP", while North actually had only SIX. Perhaps even the GIBBO robots have the same total CONTEMPT for the always pathetic GIB definitions that I do!

https://www.bridgeba...D6%7Cpc%7CSQ%7C

[benellis58]

At trick two, East...for no reason...plays his TEN of hearts from 108 dub.

At trick six, West CASHES his heart 6...BEFORE playing a third round of diamonds. This establishes dummy's heart 4 as a winner, and allows me to CLAIM when the dweeb next BELATEDLY plays a diamond.

No, East-West did NOT get a good score. (Do they EVER?)

https://www.bridgeba...DJ%7Cmc%7C10%7C