[benellis58]

MANDATED auction.

4D is defined as "Cue bid - fit in spades...".

Well, perhaps...if you consider a spade VOID (!) to be a "fit in spades"!

https://www.bridgeba...CCK%7Cmc%7C9%7C

[benellis58]

Another MANDATED auction, which means another steaming pile of hogwash from GIBBO.

South's double of 1C is a VERY poor call in my opinion, although I realize some humans would COMMIT the same call.

I realize that majors usually take precedence over minors, but...two HEARTS? Compare North's four, not strong hearts to his SIX quite decent diamonds.

Then later: FOUR DIAMONDS? REALLY?

And THEN...South...having already doubled and then bid (two) spades...and having heard his "partner" North show "four plus"...that's "FOUR...PLUS (!!!)" hearts (!)...AND "STRONG REBIDDABLE diamonds" (!!), South now bids four SPADES...thereby REbidding his short (in context), weak (in context), pathetic little "suit" of QJ1082...RATHER than bidding 4H. How many SPADES did this GIBBO jackass expect to find in dummy? The clueless oaf DESERVED to find NO spades and LOTS of red cards.

But yeah, GIBBO, by ALL means, go ahead and MANDATE this horror show of an auction. Go ahead and ADVISE innocent beginners that THIS is how to bid. How mind-bogglingly stupid!

A cliché comes to mind, something along the lines of what I think (?) Larry Cohen sometimes jokingly writes: "Please don't let my students see this".


https://www.bridgeba...DK%7Cpc%7CHQ%7C

[benellis58]

This is another MANDATED auction. Since it's MANDATED by GIBBO, you EXPECT to see stupidity. Your expectation is accurate, as GIBBO obviously believes that North's INSANE leap to 6C is a truly fine bid.

The definition, needless to say, is lazy, sloppy, and inaccurate, and GIBBO's foolish bid does not even respect its own lame definition. That being the case, what the Hell is even the point of HAVING such definitions?

The slam is off two TOP spade losers, and it is not clear that it will be made even if spades are not led, but...make, it DOES, because on THIS auction, West makes the MONUMENTALLY stupid lead of a DIAMOND (!!!)...INTO declarer South, who OPENED one diamond!

GIBBO is among the worst BIDDERS of all time and also among the worst OPENING LEADERS of all time, as this SINGLE hand so starkly illustrates.

GIBBO is ALSO among the worst of all time at just about EVERYTHING related to bridge. GIBBO stinks. But hey, at least it gives us CRUCIAL information in its hopeless definitions. Crucial, that is, if you think that telling us that North's 1S opening bid is a "major-suit opening" or that his subsequent 2S rebid NEEDS to inform us that "Opener rebids suit".

GIBBO is so INCREDIBLY bad that it almost seems as if we're waiting for the late Allen Funt to be reincarnated and say to all of us, "Smile, you're on 'Candid Camera'!".

https://www.bridgeba...D7%7Cmc%7C13%7C

[benellis58]

Has North never played negative doubles? Is North unaware that sometimes his "partner" has a trap pass and is waiting expectantly for a RE-OPENING DOUBLE THAT HE CAN PASS?

Yes, this IS another MANDATED auction.

GIBBO...FAILS...AGAIN.

https://www.bridgeba...HQ%7Cpc%7CD8%7C

[benellis58]

Another interesting thread:

https://www.bridgeba...-reply-to-rkcb/

[benellis58]

Frequent contributor OMARHEUM has sent two new hands. Here is the first. The second will appear in the post immediately following this one and will examine the same theme.

OMAR writes "East finds the killing lead. West... shifts to another suit. Making four!"

My comments:

1. On a positive note (well, SORT OF positive anyway), I'm actually astonished that East for once found the normal (and best) lead of a heart. Since he's a GIBBO robot, I would have expected him to make a typically suicidal GIBBO lead of one of his doubletons - both of which had been bid by his opponents.

2. I was not at all surprised, given that West is also a GIBBO robot, that he made his breathtakingly stupid shift. After all, these pudding-headed abominations have shown time and time again that they HATE to lead, return, or continue "partner's" suit.

3. Although I have total, unflinching contempt for the always execrable GIBBO robots, I must admit that I also have some sympathy for them. Consider this: We have undoubtedly all at some time made a killing lead, only to have partner win it and make the error of shifting. Perhaps we have sometimes even been guilty of committing the same sin ourselves. Think of how we felt when our partner betrayed us by his braindead shift (OR how HE felt when we did the same to him). It was a mix of sorrow, fury, and bewilderment that he (or we) could be SO stupid! If a human consistently saw such utter stupidity from a human partner, the partnership would likely come to a quick end. Yet these poor GIBBO robots have to live their bridge lives as if they were in the movie "Groundhog Day", knowing full well that their perpetual "partner" (a fellow GIBBO robot, and therefore by definition a fellow I.D.I.O.T. of the worst kind) will CONTINUE...hand after hand...forever...to FAIL to return their suit. That KNOWLEDGE that they are forever doomed to failure must be soul-destroying even to a soulless, brainless, worthless GIBBO robot!

https://www.bridgeba...HK%7Cpc%7CCT%7C

[benellis58]

Here's OMAR's second hand for today. He writes "This time WEST finds the killing lead and EAST... shifts to another suit. Making four!"

My comments:

1. East gets his revenge on West by pulling the same boneheaded move of shifting. "Take THAT," screams East, "I am JUST as scintillatingly hopeless as you, you fellow GIBBO piece of trash!"

2. The repetition of this theme underscores the fact that West's blatant error in the first hand was not an isolated aberration by these robotic rejects, but that it is a basic FEATURE of their bridge persona. They rot.

https://www.bridgeba...HT%7Cpc%7CHQ%7C

[benellis58]

Governments sometimes have a Witness Protection Program for individuals who are required to give testimony but who fear reprisals from those they testify against.

For GIBBO robots, perhaps the name would be modified to Witless Protection Program.

[benellis58]

The dweeb in the West leads from Q53 of hearts rather than KQ54 of diamonds...BECAUSE he's a dweeb.

The dweeb in the East wins trick three. At trick four, he plays a spade. Why not a heart? Is it the same reason, namely that he too is a dweeb?

Well, yes, that's part of it, because he indubitably is a dweeb. But there's also a second reason: He is a GIBBO dweeb, and GIBBO dweebs absolutely HATE to return "partner's" suit. Here, the dweeb in the East MUCH preferred setting up a spade winner for DECLARER, and he succeeded admirably with his objective.

No, the two GIBBO dweebs did NOT score well on the board. When will they open a Dweebs R Us store?

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/2p9a8va8

[benellis58]

This auction was MANDATED by GIBBO, so the contract at all 94 tables was 3H by South. At 66 tables, including mine, nine tricks were made. At 25 tables, eight tricks were made. At 2 tables, seven tricks were made. At 1 table, six tricks were made.

But that's just background information. The STORY, as usual, is all about GIB/GIBBO ineptitude.

First, the MANDATED auction, which GIBBO obviously thinks is PERFECT. Spoiler alert: It's not.

North's "takeout" (ha, HA, HA!) double of 1D is certainly not my idea of a takeout double! But more importantly, and more amusingly, it's not even GIB's (!) idea of a takeout double (!)...yet GIBBO is actually RECOMMENDING this auction despite the call being radically different to its OWN definition! These hopeless M.O.R.O.N.S. can't even adhere to their own rules, absolute C.R.E.T.I.N.S. that they are!

GIB defines the double as showing "3-5 clubs". North has ONE club! GIB defines the double as showing "2- diamonds". North has FOUR diamonds!

Then we get to the "signals" (ha, HA, HA!) that these miserable halfwits SUPPOSEDLY use. They SUPPOSEDLY play standard signals, but in reality they are such complete imbeciles that it seems they stupidly treat all spot cards as interchangeable equals, one of the many reasons that they habitually ROT on "defence". Observe:

At trick two, declarer South (who desperately needs a hand entry to lead hearts towards dummy North), calls for dummy's 2 of diamonds. "Defender" East, a M.O.R.O.N. if there ever was one (!), has the 73 doubleton, and should obviously play the 7. A CHIMPANZEE would get this play correct a full fifty percent of the time, but it's FAR too difficult for the piece of GIBBO trash in the East. The hopeless fool stupidly plays the 3. South plays the 10. West wins his ace and IMMEDIATELY fires back the diamond 4, almost certainly because these braindead jackasses LOVE returning the suit DECLARER plays. Declarer calls for North's 9, and East, perforce, plays his lone remaining diamond, the 7. South wins his king and leads a heart towards dummy's KQ52.

West flies with his ace and returns another diamond, which East ruffs for the third defensive trick. The "defenders" subsequently win a high club, so declarer makes exactly 9 tricks for plus 140.

Note that the defenders STUMBLED into the diamond ruff, because if West BELIEVED East's carding, he would have played East for 763, meaning that DECLARER, NOT East, would have been the one born with a doubleton diamond. So, East stupidly gave the WRONG count, yet West continued diamonds anyway, EITHER because he KNOWS that East is a total imbecile whose signals can never be trusted, OR - and this is MORE likely - West is such an oblivious C.R.E.T.I.N. himself that he never even WATCHES which cards are played.

GIB/GIBBO = total garbage when it comes to anything concerning bridge. They are the worst!

https://www.bridgeba...CH6%7Cmc%7C9%7C

[benellis58]

At trick three, East finds the best shift (bravo!) to a spade...but stupidly (albeit TYPICALLY!) plays the WRONG spade: the incorrect NINE from Q10972. Declarer South covers with the jack, and West wins his king.

Does West continue spades? Of COURSE he doesn't. HE'S a GIBBO robot, so HE would never DREAM of playing a spade, because GIBBO robots HATE to return "partner's" suit.

But they LOVE to play the suit DECLARER plays, so Superstooge in the West...CASHES the heart king to ENSURE that declarer can take two heart tricks if he needs them, and then plays a THIRD round of hearts.

Incredibly, the GIBBO "defence" was actually even worse at several tables!

If these jackasses played hockey for the Pittsburgh Penguins, they would take ALL their shots at the PITTSBURGH net!

https://www.bridgeba...H9%7Cmc%7C10%7C

[benellis58]

MANDATED auction. With a one hundred percent easy, obvious, COMPLETELY normal 1NT...GIBBO mandates an opening bid of one CLUB!

As the saying goes, "You CAN'T make this stuff up!"

Does GIBBO ever get ANYTHING right?

https://www.bridgeba...S6%7Cpc%7CCJ%7C

[benellis58]

What a truly WRETCHED "defence"! Somebody needs to buy GIBBO a book on the subject of UNBLOCKING!

https://www.bridgeba...CK%7Cpc%7CCA%7C

[benellis58]

Another example where a CHIMPANZEE would have a full fifty percent chance of playing the RIGHT card, but "Ginsberg's 'Intelligent' (ha, HA, HA!!!!) Bridgeplayer" (sic!) gets it stone cold WRONG! "Intelligent"??? About as "intelligent" as what's on the soles of your shoes after you walk through a zoo after feeding time.

At trick two, the GIBBO simpleton in the North decides to switch to a diamond. The fleabrain has the 65 doubleton. Being a typically - and totally - clueless GIBBO piece of trash, the clown leads the FIVE. In many decades of playing, I have never seen even a SINGLE human player as consistently and HOPELESSLY incompetent as these GIB/GIBBO C.R.E.T.I.N.S.

https://www.bridgeba...CHT%7Cmc%7C8%7C

[benellis58]

Does East lead his "PARTNER'S" suit, hearts?

Sorry. Silly question. East is that form of pond scum known as a GIBBO robot, so of COURSE he doesn't lead a heart. Like all GIBBO robots, he HATES to lead his "Partner's" suit, so of COURSE he leads a diamond, the suit his LHO opened, because the braindead GIBBO bozos LOVE to lead ENEMY suits.

Seriously, were these GIBBO losers PURPOSELY designed to be the worst "bridge players" ever? If so, then mission accomplished!

https://www.bridgeba...S6%7Cmc%7C10%7C

[benellis58]

Trick two: East pops his heart ace for no reason.

Trick three: East cashes his spade ace for no reason.

The jerk lucks out when popping the heart doesn't cost, but gets what he deserves when his ignorant and COWARDLY play of the spade ace does.

Why aren't these putrid GIBBO wastrels decomposing in a LANDFILL somewhere, instead of polluting every bridge game that they ever show up in?

https://www.bridgeba...SQ%7Cmc%7C10%7C