[benellis58]

Another hand from OMARHEUM, another example of the mind-blowing stupidity of the useless, worthless, contemptible GIBBO robots.

OMAR writes "IMPs-I open 1NT as per system, never show anything extra, and my GIBBO 'partner' vaults to an unmakeable 6 diamonds as the ace and king of diamonds unfortunately do not appear on the same trick."

My comments:

Anyone who has played a reasonable number of games with the GIBBO trashcans has probably witnessed numerous examples of these imbecilic, unscientific, unilateral leaps to slam. Sometimes they're successful, sometimes not - but EVEN when they succeed, it is purely because the robot lucked out, because his auction was still the ridiculous piece of junk that only these nauseating GIB/GIBBO robots can repeatedly produce.

The most inappropriate acronym of all time is probably "GIB", which laughably stands for "Ginsberg's Intelligent (!!!!!!) Bridgeplayer" (sic!).

https://www.bridgeba...C2%7Cmc%7C11%7C

[kerkido]

Congratulations on 150 pages of talking to yourself.

But what are you trying to achieve? As an expert in robots, you must of course be aware that every time you write a post in this thread, it gets crawled by a large set of robots, artificially inflating the view count, to the point where the linear increase demonstrates that virtually no humans are reading anything you write. And of course, BBO certainly aren't improving anything as a result. So why spend so much time on this?

[benellis58]

"Virtually no humans are reading (this)". Well, kerkido, assuming that you are a human, it seems that you are reading it.

Welcome to the club that is rapidly approaching one million.

Point. Set. Match.

[benellis58]

After winning his heart ace at trick one, East finds the killing shift to a spade, cashing his ace.

Bravo, Mr. East! Now I can no longer make my contract of 3NT. Well done, Sir!

EXCEPT that...playing standard signals, West, holding the K873 of spades, follows with his...THREE. East reverts to hearts. My game makes.

https://www.bridgeba...H3%7Cmc%7C11%7C

[benellis58]

On the auction, Johnny Halfwit's diamond lead is not clever. After Donald J. Dumbo wins his jack at trick one, he cashes his ace at trick two. Also not clever.

https://www.bridgeba...SK%7Cmc%7C10%7C

[benellis58]

Trick four: Old, frail Donald J. Dumbo pops his heart king. I guess he wants to ensure that I, South, cannot misguess the heart suit.

https://www.bridgeba...C2%7Cmc%7C11%7C

[benellis58]

Only in a bidding system as completely illogical and poorly constructed as the miserable, antiquated, hopeless GIB/GIBBO one would 2NT (!!!!!!!!!!) be the recommended (!!!!!!!) call with North's hand over South's 2H bid.

What the Hell was the creator of this ridiculous system thinking when he designed it? If his goal was to design one of the worst bidding systems of all time, then he succeeded.

https://www.bridgeba...S9%7Cpc%7CH8%7C

[benellis58]

A "defence" about as "good" as you would expect from Frick and Frack - as they add another zero to their awe-inspiring collection of complete failures.

https://www.bridgeba...H9%7Cpc%7CH4%7C

[benellis58]

Against West's 4H, does the ignorant, worthless GIBBO piece of trash in the North lead EITHER of our two suits (diamonds and spades), BOTH of which we have shown during the auction? Does he make one of these TWO...GLARINGLY obvious leads so that we can take the first FOUR TOP TRICKS in OUR suits and thereby defeat the contract?

Well, no, of COURSE he doesn't, because HE is a stinking, useless pile of grime known as a GIBBO robot, and like ALL members of that disgusting sect, he HATES to lead our suits but absolutely LOVES to lead enemy suits. Consequently, he makes the INSANE lead of a club, a suit that EAST had bid.

West rattles off the first ELEVEN tricks in clubs and hearts. He makes an overtrick on a hand that any raw beginner would probably have BEATEN by the time a mere four tricks had been played.

Were the architects of GIB actually TRYING to create the worst "bridge players" in the history of the game? Asking for a friend.

https://www.bridgeba...DA%7Cpc%7CS8%7C

[benellis58]

I just finished playing 48 boards in games with three GIBBO robots. What that means is that I just saw 48 boards worth of the most horrendous, most braindead, most despicable bridge plays by West, North, and East since...well,...since the previous time I played in a game with three GIBBO robots...and the time before that...and the time before that...and...

In other words, EVERY time I play in a game with three GIBBO robots, ALL of them CONSISTENTLY stink.

GIB/GIBBO is a scar on the face of bridge. GIB/GIBBO totally rots. GIB/GIBBO is the worst.

[benellis58]

I just finished playing 48 boards in games with three GIBBO robots. What that means is that I just saw 48 boards worth of the most horrendous, most braindead, most despicable bridge plays by West, North, and East since...well,...since the previous time I played in a game with three GIBBO robots...and the time before that...and the time before that...and...

In other words, EVERY time I play in a game with three GIBBO robots, ALL of them CONSISTENTLY stink.

GIB/GIBBO is a scar on the face of bridge. GIB/GIBBO totally rots. GIB/GIBBO is the worst.

[benellis58]

Another interesting thread:

https://www.bridgeba...ng-gib-defence/

[benellis58]

Typically stupid lead by Donald J. Dumbo: With the KQ of diamonds staring him in the face, the sleepy, old, feeble fool makes a silly and potentially dangerous lead of the heart jack. Then when the corrupt clown gets in with his trump trick, M.O.R.O.N. that he is, he plays another heart.

His partner Johnny Halfwit isn't much better, although at least Halfwit is not a constant liar. Halfwit wins his club king, cashes his high heart (a trick that was NEVER going anywhere), and then stupidly cashes his club ace - thereby setting up the club trick that declarer was trying to establish so that he could pitch his diamond loser.

True, Halfwit is much brighter than Dumbo (and also wears less makeup), but he could have SAVED the day from Dumbo's stupid heart plays if he had the wit to play a diamond rather than cashing his second club. Once he didn't. he and Donnie Dumbo had a shared bottom on the board.

https://www.bridgeba...CC3%7Cmc%7C9%7C

[benellis58]

I might have bid 3H rather than a mere 2H over East's 1S, but I bid MUCH more conservatively than usual when I'm playing with a GIBBO "partner", because I know before even the first hand is picked up that I'm playing with an absolute M.O.R.O.N. (and to be fair, also playing AGAINST two OTHER absolute M.O.R.O.N.S.) I'm always aware that the imbecile across from me has no idea how to bid ANY hands, but that he usually OVERbids rather than UNDERbids, so I tread VERY lightly.

But when the braindead jackass FREELY bid 3H, I figured "Okay, I already bid quite conservatively, and maybe for ONCE that fleabrained GIBBO sack of dirt across from me actually has his bid and actually has a REASON for freely bidding 3H."

Consequently, I decided to raise to 4H, albeit with strong misgivings. When I saw the I.D.I.O.T.'s hand, I realized that I had erred in thinking that he might have actually had a REASON to open his ugly GIBBO mouth. The C.R.E.T.I.N. -of COURSE - did not have his bid. His own GIB definition stated that the call showed "5+ hearts", but true to form, the malignant reject had only four of them: the 7532! The jerk was also as flat as he could possibly be, at 3-4-3-3, and 2 of his 9 HCP were from the spade queen, which on the auction rated to be completely useless.

Also, as he SO often does, the piece of trash committed his atrocity in DIRECT seat. The worthless creep couldn't even use the excuse that he was competing in the passout position.

I believe GIB first came out approximately three decades ago. Maybe back then - in the Stone Age, its countless foibles weren't as obviously bad as they are after thirty years of progress in bridge, but its constant glaring weaknesses are sure as Hell obvious now for the whole world to laugh at and scorn.

The board was played 11 times. One NS pair scored 100 % for beating 3S one trick. The other 10 NS pairs all played in 4H. Seven of the 10 (including me and my "partner") scored 60 % for going down two, and the other three scored 10 % for going down three.

https://www.bridgeba...CS5%7Cmc%7C8%7C

[benellis58]

The absurdity of GIBBO's howlingly stupid 2C system once again rears its ugly head. The entire system stinks as only GIB/GIBBO can, but the WORST part of the system is its insane use of the 2NT response. I have explained several times in the past the NUMEROUS reasons that the 2NT response is something that only a hopeless player would recommend, so I won't bother doing it again. I'm sure you can all figure it out for yourselves anyway.

Suffice to say that after the lunatic in the North made his ridiculous 2NT call (which, to be fair, WAS in accordance with the truly wretched GIB system he - and we - are FORCED to play), HE now became "captain" on the hand, which is just plain crazy - regardless of result on this or any other random hand and layout. GIB/GIBBO stinks, and there are probably HUNDREDS of reasons why.

At least our score on the board was a decent 66.67 %. The two pairs that beat us bid and made 7H. Two other pairs bid 7H but went down. Two pairs stopped in game in hearts (one making 12 tricks, one making 11). One other pair bid 6H but made only 12 tricks. Two pairs bid 6NT, making 12 Tricks. Six other pairs bid 6H and made 13 tricks as we did.

Have I mentioned that GIB/GIBBO stinks? Oh, I have? No problem: That statement can NEVER be said often enough.

https://www.bridgeba...DQ%7Cmc%7C13%7C

[benellis58]

Regardless of result, layout, or MY overcall on a four-bagger, North AGAIN makes an imbecilic FREE bid of 3H (just as he did in post 2994) - for NO reason - in DIRECT, non-passout position, AND in violation of his own GIB definition. And to boot, he had ALREADY earlier bid TWO hearts.

The piece of dirt is SUPPOSED to have "4+ hearts; 6-9 total points". He ACTUALLY has K1043, 1097, J10943, 6, so in addition to having ONLY three hearts and ONLY 4 HCP, THREE of his points are in SPADES, where he has K1043 BEHIND (!) his RHO, who has bid and rebid spades. A BRIDGE player would realize that his SPADES are considerably better than his hearts, that his hand does NOT merit a 3H call in DIRECT (!) position, and that his hand is probably much better for defending than as a dummy for a heart contract. Th eproblem is that a stinking GIBBO robot is NOT a bridge player - it is a piece of garbage that is good for NOTHING.

https://www.bridgeba...CJ%7Cpc%7CSQ%7C

[benellis58]

Yeah, we beat the contract three tricks, but why do these GIBBO derelicts LOVE leading their stiff trumps? And why, regardless of result or layout, would the M.O.R.O.N. in the North not lead a diamond? Was it because I "only" bid the suit THREE (!) times?

Maybe when we have a GIBBO piece of trash as a "partner" we should open the suit we DON'T want led. Maybe that will ENSURE that the dirtbag will lead one of the OTHER three and he'll accidentally STUMBLE into the best lead - something he could NEVER do if left to his own "ability".

GIB/GIBBO robots are the worst "bridge players" I have ever seen. The WORST human player I ever saw was better than these losers.

https://www.bridgeba...CT%7Cpc%7CC9%7C

[benellis58]

Johnny Halfwit in the West actually makes a GOOD lead for once. (A diamond would be equally effective.) After his GOOD lead, 4H should be down one.

Unfortunately for Johnny, though, he was sitting across from sleepy, old, frail, corrupt Donald J. Dumbo. Dumbo managed to wake up long enough to win his club ace at trick one. Did the conceited jerk return a club...OR a diamond? Of course not. Donald J. Dumbo, as most of the world knows, is irredeemably stupid, so he returned a SPADE.

I was now able to win the spade that the fat fool had returned, pull trump, and play two more rounds of spades. When the suit broke 3-3, dummy's last spade gave me a parking place for my diamond loser, and I made a game that any BRIDGE PLAYER would have beaten. If Donnie had a brain, he would have realized instantly that a NS spade loser could probably not vanish (since dummy had FOUR of them), but a NS club or diamond COULD conceivably disappear, since dummy had only two of each. Donald J. Dumbo loves to brag about how clever he is, but as this and SO many other hands prove, he's as stupid as they come.

https://www.bridgeba...DJ%7Cmc%7C10%7C

[benellis58]

West changes horses in midstream eight million times in a single hand. (Okay, maybe not a FULL eight million!)

Also, note how the simpleton has NO problem whatsoever POPPING his heart jack on the second round of the suit. He was trying his absolute BEST to crash his pair's heart honours, I guess, but he LUCKED out when I, not his "partner", had the heart queen.

And East wasn't exactly blameless. When West shifted to the club king at trick five, East - as hopeless a "bridge player" as has ever existed - followed with the THREE, the LOWEST of his FIVE clubs (AJ863!) even though these always C.R.E,T.I.N.O.U.S. GIBBO monstrosities play standard signals,

Thanks for the 100 % score,...M.O.R.O.N.S.!

https://www.bridgeba...CQ%7Cpc%7CC7%7C

[benellis58]

OMARHEUM has provided us with another hand. He writes "Here's a hand you might post from a JUST DECLARE game yesterday. North proves allergic to bidding spades, preferring 2C initially and then forcing to game with his 2H and 3H bids showing ???"

My comments:

This hand is a gem, as it shows how EXTRAORDINARILY hopeless the miserable GIBBO robots are. A key point to remember is that, as OMAR mentioned, this is a Just Declare hand, which means that: A. OMAR is NOT to blame for South's extremely poor bidding, and B. The entire auction is MANDATED by, and therefore RECOMMENDED by GIBBO! GIBBO obviously considers this to be a perfect, flawless, impeccable auction...which goes to show what a sickening piece of garbage GIB/GIBBO is.

South's double of 1H is STUPID, given his STIFF 4 of clubs. But North's incredibly I.D.I.O.T.I.C. 2C (!!!!!!) bid makes South's STUPID double look like the greatest bid of the century in comparison!

North chooses to bid a low-scoring minor (clubs) rather than a high-scoring major. In so doing, he is also committing to the TWO level, where he will need EIGHT tricks to succeed, rather than staying at the ONE level, where he would need only seven. On top of all that, he is bidding a pathetic club "suit" of 8632 rather than a DECENT spade suit of KJ82. The piece of GIBBO trash has managed to be three for three in choosing the wrong rationale.

South now compounds the lunacies that have already occurred. His initial double with a stiff club was unprepared, thoughtless, and ignorant, but opposite a "partner" who had even the slightest clue about how to bid, he would have LUCKILY survived, because that partner would have bid 1S rather than the insane 2C chosen by the GIBBO dirtbag in the North. Because South and North are both total C.R.E.T.I.N.S. who have both made imbecilic calls, South has no good bid at this juncture, and like the scared, cowardly rat he is, he tries to escape by bidding 2D...even though his own GIB definition states that the bid shows "6+ diamonds" and "3+ clubs", neither of which he is even close to having.

As laughably, pathetically bad as this trainwreck of an auction has been so far, it now gets even worse, as North makes THE stupidest call so far. The STUNNINGLY hopeless GIBBO stooge...cuebids (!!!!!) 2H, proving that he is indeed a GIBBO robot, because such INSANE cuebids are a hallmark of bidding for these nauseating monstrosities. 2H is defined as showing "5 HCP" although he has only 4, and as being "forcing to 3NT". Why the HELL would he be forcing to 3NT with a mere 4 HCP after his partner's 2D had been defined as showing "21- HCP"? "21-", BTW, is written in the usual vague, useless, and LAZY way preferred by the author of the always pathetic GIB definitions, because "21-" literally means zero to 21! So again, why the HELL is North "forcing to 3NT"? To make his action even MORE ridiculous, why is he doing it with a cuebid (!) that says NOTHING useful about his hand and provides NO information that will help South in any way? And WHY has he NEVER shown his one and only good suit (spades), which is the KEY feature of his hand?

These two M.O.R.O.N.S. are already in the soup and on the road to oblivion, but maybe South should at least bid two spades rather than 2NT. ONE of these ignorant twits should show spades at SOME point!

North then makes an even stupider bid than his earlier 2H cuebid. This useless goober, who has less intelligence than a piece of linoleum, cuebids...again (!) with three hearts! South bids 3NT, and these two pieces of GIBBO filth have completed an auction that might well be the worst since Marie Antoinette was beheaded in 1793! (Yes, I realize that bridge as we know it had not yet been created when poor Marie was at the guillotine. It's called poetic licence.)

GIB/GIBBO is the worst of all time. It rots.

https://www.bridgeba...CT%7Cpc%7CC8%7C