[benellis58]

Hey, BBO, why don't you fix things so that I - and possibly others - can finish the games we're playing. I would rather bash your horrible, useless GIBBO robots than your technology.

[benellis58]

While waiting to see if I can actually finish my robot game (Hint: Please wake up, BBO!), I decided to kill some time by doing something that I used to regularly do but have not done for a while: I played a 4-board "Challenge" match "Hearts-Style" where I bid 7NT on every hand, redouble if doubled, and try to lose as many tricks as possible. I saw that the GIBBO robots still stink in the Challenges also, like they always did. No surprise there, but it WAS a surprise that I could actually PLAY the Challenge, since I CAN'T play the last board of my daylong, since the table keeps closing, saying "robot error". Strange that the Challenge is working but the ACBL Daylong isn't. I'll try again. Maybe by some miracle BBO has actually fixed the problem by now, but I'm sure as Hell not betting the farm on it.

[benellis58]

Hallelujah! Was FINALLY able to finish Board 12. You think I'm going to play another Daylong game now? Ha, ha - fat chance.

[benellis58]

The usual GIBBO incompetence is displayed here, which is why (as always) I'm posting the hand - in the increasingly faint hope that the powers that be will finally decide to hugely improve BBO by ditching GIB/GIBBO and getting decent robots.

There's also some humour here, though. First I'll provide the scoring details, and then I'll explain what's funny. After that, I'll do some robot bashing.

This board was played 13 times.

The best North-South score was 95.83 %, shared by two pairs who passed out the board.
Next was 70.83 % for four pairs who went down "only" one in 1NT. I was one of the four.
Then came 41.67 % for three pairs who went down two in 1NT.
After that was 16.67 % for two pairs who went down three in 1NT and one pair who went down three in 2S.
Finally there was zero percent for one pair who went down four in 3NT.

The humour is that the best score went to the two pairs who passed out the board...and the way that they passed it out was that South PASSED in FOURTH seat with...A72, A95, 9642, AQ7! On BBO layouts, maybe the secret to success is to always pass!

Now, in a respectful nod to the late great Shirley Ellis, let's get right down to the really nitty gritty...with some robot bashing.

West makes a typical GIBBO lead of his shortest, weakest suit. Sure, anything could be right, but why do these pathetic buffoons love to do this sort of thing? The REAL lunacy, however, comes at trick six, when the ignorant, cowardly GIBBO clown in the West feels that he MUST pop his diamond king. This stupid and craven play later enables me at trick 9 to lead dummy's SEVEN of diamonds (from its remaining Q7 doubleton), catching East's now stiff ace, and establishing my queen. This could NEVER have been done without Superstooge's earlier RIDICULOUS pop of the queen.

Are the "brains" of these hopeless GIBBO monstrosities IMMEDIATELY calcified at the moment of their creation?

https://www.bridgeba...S6%7Cpc%7CS9%7C

[benellis58]

The GIBBO nitwit in the East commits a typical overbid with his 4S call. These GIBBO wartheads usually do this any time their "partner" rebids a major. Absolute M.O.R.O.N.S.

https://www.bridgeba...DJ%7Cpc%7CCT%7C

[benellis58]

These astoundingly incompetent GIBBO dweebs managed to "defend" so poorly that they never even got their second TOP club trick. Their IQ is the same as that of a container of shoe polish. They are as "intelligent" as the slime at the bottom of a sewer.

https://www.bridgeba...DJ%7Cpc%7CC6%7C

[benellis58]

The piece of GIBBO dirt in the East plays second hand HIGH at trick two, stupidly popping his heart (trump) queen from Q2 dub, despite LOOKING AT a heart suit of KJ9654 in dummy South, to his right.

This is the type of braindead insanity that GIBBO's immediate predecessors (the truly execrable and disgusting GIB robots) used to frequently do, and that Lorserker supposedly corrected when he made some minor improvements several months ago. To be fair, the GIBBO robots do commit this insanity less than the sickening GIB ones did, but they obviously STILL commit it sometimes...and of course they (the GIBBO robots) are just as sickeningly bad as the GIB ones were. GIB or GIBBO, take your pick: they both consistently suck pumice. They're both at the absolute BOTTOM of the barrel. They both stink.

https://www.bridgeba...CJ%7Cmc%7C11%7C

[benellis58]

Instead of continuing hearts at trick two, the fleabrained GIBBO trout in the East switches to the diamond king and when I duck he continues DIAMONDS. Having rectified the count, it's now child's play for me to squeeze West in spades and hearts, taking eleven tricks. Why do these repulsive GIBBO losers persist in their futile attempts to play bridge when they've proven time and time again that they have absolutely NO ability at it? Why are they still polluting GIBBO by their very presence?

https://www.bridgeba...HT%7Cmc%7C11%7C

[benellis58]

Not my table, but I'm posting this because it's amusing, and it also shows how PATHETIC the GIB definitions are.

For reasons best known to himself, the anonymous human South chooses to open a twilight zone (!) 3NT, which (if you consult the GIB definition) is not even close to what he has. North leaps to 7NT, and East doubles. When West fails to find a spade lead AND the club king is onside, South has 13 tricks for plus 1790 (!!!), and a clear and obvious 100 % on the board. This hand is an excellent example of what a completely random game bridge can often be. Sure, it IS a game of skill, but there is often also a LOT of luck involved.

Now, let's BASH the imbecilic GIB definition of East's double of 7NT. As is SO often (and far TOO often) the case with these miserable and pathetic GIB definitions, this one is completely useless. Here is the ENTIRE definition: "4+ HCP". Why even BOTHER writing a definition if it's just completely useless twaddle like that?

https://www.bridgeba...C6%7Cmc%7C13%7C

[benellis58]

This hand (like SO many others) exposes multiple levels of GIB/GIBBO gross incompetence. This post (2810) will examine what happened at my table, and the following post (2811) will provide further COMEDY from the same board at a different table. At any and all tables, GIB/GIBBO consistently rots. It is the worst.

So, at my table, East-West failed to find their heart fit. They played in 4D by East, and the useless GIBBO declarer managed to butcher the play. These GIBBO pieces of trash can't bid, can't lead, can't defend, and - as this hand illustrates - can't even declare. They stink at everything bridge-related.

The first five tricks are normal. Then at trick six, declarer East leads a heart to dummy West's ace. There's nothing abnormal about that, in and of itself,...BUT...then at trick seven, declarer leads a diamond (trump) from dummy West to his own...KING. Now, again there's nothing abnormal about his playing the diamond king, and in practice he guessed the diamonds right by playing for a 2-2 split rather than a potential 3-1 with queen third in North (in which case the winning play would have been to stick in the jack). So, bravo to East for guessing diamonds correctly (at least on THIS random layout). HOWEVER: Given that he was playing for a 2-2 trump split ANYWAY, why didn't he just bang down his king of diamonds at trick six, rather than first travelling to dummy's heart ace?

Anyway, that didn't cost, and after guessing diamonds, he was now on the way to making his contract of 4D...until he made a play so INCREDIBLY stupid that it could ONLY be made by one of these blithering GIBBO I.D.I.O.T.S..

At trick eight, he led his 2 of hearts (from his remaining K92) towards dummy's remaining Q104. I, South, followed with the 7 (having previously played the 3 on the first round of hearts). Declarer stuck in dummy's TEN (!) and lost a TOTALLY unnecessary heart trick to North's now-stiff jack. Since I, South, had made a takeout double of 1D, it was indeed more likely that I, not North, would have greater heart length and would therefore be more likely to have the heart jack...BUT...the HOPELESS "declarer" did NOT have to GUESS the hearts. The staggering C.R.E.T.I.N. had a one hundred percent GUARANTEED play. All the M.O.R.O.N. had to do at that point (trick eight) was to cash the king of hearts in his hand. WHATEVER my heart holding was, I would play low, dummy's 4 would be played, and North's card (WHATEVER it was) would then be seen. Here, that card would have been the heart jack, and all the EW hearts would be good. On a different layout, if North followed with a SMALL heart, it would mean that NS hearts had originally been 3-2 and dummy's queen would scoop up the enemy jack WHEREEVER it was, and all the EW hearts would AGAIN be good. Finally, if North showed out when declarer cashed his heart king, declarer would KNOW with certainty that NS hearts had originally been 4-1, and he would KNOW with certainty that he could now lead a heart towards dummy's remaining Q10 dub, capturing my remaining JX. The SUB-M.O.R.O.N.I.C. GIBBO piece of trash "declarer" was so blindingly stupid that he couldn't even see an OBVIOUS guaranteed line. Instead, the oblivious, sickening twit guessed...and being a contemptible, useless GIBBO robot, guessed wrong. These GIBBO jackasses are BEYOND hopeless...EVEN at declaring!

BTW, take a look at the typically pathetic and annoying GIB definition of West's 2NT, where the final part needlessly and RIDICULOUSLY says "...opponents cannot play undoubled below 2NT". What the HELL, Mr. GIB, was the point of including that useless tripe? West HIMSELF is currently bidding...TWO NO TRUMP, so guess what, Mr. GIB: The opponents CANNOT and WILL NOT be declaring ANYTHING below 2NT, because now it is impossible! So maybe...just maybe, Mr. GIB...it is a complete waste of time, space, words, and bandwidth to be mentioning that they "cannot play undoubled below 2NT"...in a hand in which it is IMPOSSIBLE for them to play below 2NT! TOTAL garbage - as usual with GIB definitions.

Okay, here's the link to the hand at my table. Stay tuned for more laughs from the same hand at another table, in today's episode of the hit series "As the GIBBO Garbage Turns".

https://www.bridgeba...CD4%7Cmc%7C9%7C

[benellis58]

As promised, here is the same hand from post 2810 immediately above, but from a different table. Here we see ANOTHER braindead GIBBO "declarer" totally botch the play. No surprise at all for these useless, nauseating GIBBO pieces of trash.

This time East-West reach 4H "declared" by East, Donald J. Dumbo.

This thread is not about bashing humans, but let's just say that the anonymous human South did not defend double dummy. He got a good score anyway, though, because the "declarer" (Dumbo) was a REAL dummy. He ruffed the club king at trick two and then played three rounds of trump (hearts), ending in dummy West.

Dummy now had the only trump left in the game. "Declarer" cashed dummy's club queen (established by South's bizarre attempt to cash a second high club at trick two) and pitched his spade 6 from 96 dub. He then correctly played a diamond, and the only issue at that point was whether he would guess diamonds correctly (on THIS random layout) by playing for them to be 2-2 (and therefore cashing the AK) or incorrectly by playing for a 3-1 split with the queen onside, and hooking. A correct guess would see him take an astounding TWELVE (!) tricks on the hand (via four hearts, the earlier club ruff at trick two, the club queen established by South's futile play of a second high club at trick two, and all six diamonds in the East hand). If, however, he MISGUESSED diamonds (on THIS random layout) by sticking in the jack, he would NOT do well.

BUT...he DIDN'T cash the AK...OR finesse. He STUPIDLY won his diamond king (KING, note, NOT ace...because it must be SO "brilliant" to let BOTH opponents know where the ace is - imbecile!). He then...led his remaining spade (!!!!!!!!!!) to dummy's king, losing to North's offside ace. NS now cashed two further spades for down one...and they MIGHT even have done better, because after winning his spade queen, South played the diamond queen and "declarer" claimed. Had South instead played a club, dummy would have ruffed with its final trump, and "declarer" would have had to guess diamonds. If he played a diamond to his ace, he would take all the remaining tricks and still be down "only" (snicker!) one, but if he stuck in his JACK, he would be down TWO, as South would win his now-stiff diamond queen and then cash a club at trick thirteen.

Going way back to trick six, it was STUPID to cash dummy's club queen. Dumbo should have played diamonds at that point, because DIAMONDS were the key to the hand. He could ALWAYS score his club queen at some point anyway, since dummy had the only trump remaining. Furthermore, pitching one of his two low spades at that point was a USELESS play anyway, because he ("declarer" Dumbo) had no trumps left!

I could write more about Dumbo's woeful "declarer play" on this hand, but the post has gone on long enough and the point has been made - that point being that GIBBO stinks at declarer play just like it stinks at everything else. GIB/GIBBO is the worst.

https://www.bridgeba...HT%7Cpc%7CS7%7C

[benellis58]

1. I think North's 4S call is silly, since 2D was a game force. Why do these GIBBO halfwits love to jam their OWN uninterrupted auctions? This same theme will be seen again in post # 2821.
2. Note the typical BBO bad trump break, 5-1 this time.
3. Note the typically I.D.I.O.T.I.C. lead by the GIBBO trout in the East. The clueless sap is looking at the K10642 of spades in his OWN hand, BEHIND the enemy 4S bidder (!), and the braindead stooge decides that the best suit he can POSSIBLY lead is diamonds, the ONLY other suit bid by his opponents.
4. Card after card, bid after bid, hand after hand, game after game, day after day, these GIBBO pieces of dirt constantly prove that they are the worst ever.

https://www.bridgeba...D8%7Cpc%7CCQ%7C

[benellis58]

The typically pathetic GIB definition of South's 3NT ridiculously says that it shows "5- spades".

NORTH'S bidding has shown at least six clubs and at least FIVE (!) SPADES.

If South had as many as FIVE spades, as the garbage definition claims, would he REALLY be bidding NO TRUMP rather than supporting spades? Would he bidding NO TRUMP even with "only" four or "only" three spades...opposite a partner who is known to have at least FIVE spades and at least ELEVEN cards in the black suits?

No wonder the GIBBO robots stink at bridge, given that their very system has ZERO logic and its definitions are the worst the world has ever seen in ANY area.

https://www.bridgeba...S3%7Cmc%7C11%7C

[benellis58]

West falls victim to the Bath Coup and later ducks his spade ace. West gets another complete zero to add to his world-famous collection. Yes, West is a GIBBO robot.

https://www.bridgeba...S8%7Cpc%7CSQ%7C

[benellis58]

North proves that he is a GIBBO robot...when he makes the truly INSANE bid of 4S.

Note that even the GIB definition of this ridiculous call claims that it shows "6+ spades" (which he doesn't have), "9-11 HCP" (which he doesn't have), and "10-12 total points" (which he doesn't have...and all the MORE so, since NS have identified no fit).

Every single day, these useless, worthless GIBBO pieces of stinking garbage find NEW ways of POLLUTING this site and humiliating the game of bridge with their otherworldly displays of total ignorance and lunacy. They are repulsive and nauseating, but I have to hand it to them: They ARE funny and DO provide non-stop laughter...just as The Three Stooges used to do. The difference is that The Three Stooges were actually comedic geniuses and only pretended to be I.D.I.O.T.S. GIBBO robots, on the other hand, really are total I.D.I.O.T.S., the worst the world has ever seen.

https://www.bridgeba...D8%7Cpc%7CCT%7C

[benellis58]

I very frequently operate and "experiment" in games with three GIBBO robots. Why? Because it's fun, and it more often than not works out well, since my "partner" is a complete I.D.I.O.T. and both my opponents also are.

Here's an example. My 1NT bid is obviously bizarre, but it gave me a score of 97.44 % on the board thanks to the typically STUPID lead and the expected wretched "defence" that followed. GIB/GIBBO is the pits, the nadir of the bridge world. GIBBO reeks of abject incompetence. It is the worst. It is garbage, through and through.

https://www.bridgeba...CC4%7Cmc%7C9%7C

[benellis58]

Another operation. Another truly wretched GIBBO "defence". Another complete zero for Frick and Frack.

https://www.bridgeba...DQ%7Cpc%7CDA%7C

[benellis58]

I guess Donald J. Dumbo in the East didn't WANT to take the first four tricks and hold me to 3NT. I guess Donald J. Dumbo WANTED to see me take 12 tricks and score three overtricks. I guess Donald J. Dumbo WANTED to add yet ANOTHER complete zero to his massive, world-topping collection of total failures. I guess that's why Donald J. Dumbo stupidly shifted at trick two, after Johnny Halfwit in the West had for ONCE found the best lead.

Donald J. Dumbo got everything he WANTED.

I guess Donald J. Dumbo is a complete I.D.I.O.T.

I guess that means that Donald J. Dumbo is exactly like all GIBBO robots.

And by the way, note that although Johnny Halfwit DID find the best lead on this hand, it was a STRANGE lead, in that a SPADE (looking only at Johnny's hand) certainly looks like the NORMAL lead. Even when these bozos do something GOOD, it's either bizarre, an accident, or pure luck. GIB/GIBBO sucks pumice.

https://www.bridgeba...H4%7Cmc%7C12%7C

[benellis58]

North's PASS (!) of South's fourth seat 1C opening shows that North has NO idea how to play bridge.

East's balancing 1NT bid shows that HE also bids bizarrely. Yes, he has 11 HCP (as a passed hand). Yes, he has a flattish hand with his 4-3-4-2 shape. BUT his "stopper" in clubs (the ONLY suit that his NS opponents have mentioned!) is 109 doubleton...AND he has support for all three unbid suits. It is clear that doubling would be a far better action than bidding 1NT.

It is also clear that GIBBO robots are the worst bidders around.

https://www.bridgeba...CS3%7Cmc%7C9%7C

[benellis58]

North makes his usual unscientific, unilateral, arbitrary, space-wasting leap to 6NT in an uninterrupted auction. Note that as is so often the case, the jerk does not even adhere to his own GIB definition, which states that his bid is SUPPOSED to show "14-16 HCP", even though the braindead reject has only 11...FIVE less than his possible maximum, and more importantly a full THREE (!) less than his "promised" MINIMUM.

Why is trash like GIBBO still polluting BBO? Why hasn't BBO ditched it in favour of the SUPERIOR robots that exist in 2026? Maybe once, long, LONG ago, back in the caveman days when robots started playing bridge, GIB had a partial excuse for its countless flaws, but those caveman days are long gone, and in the modern world GIB/GIBBO is nothing but a bad joke and a laughingstock.

https://www.bridgeba...DJ%7Cpc%7CSK%7C