[benellis58]

South opens one HEART, so of COURSE East leads a HEART against North's 4S. East scores 10.7 % 0n the board.

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/5aucrds3

[benellis58]

No East-West bidding. South deals and opens 1NT. North transfers with 2D. South bids 2H. North bids 3NT. All pass.

West is on lead with KJ1084, 82, QJ96, Q6.

To his credit, he says, "I think I should lead a spade or a diamond." I say "to his credit", because the poor sap is a GIBBO robot, so I'm surprised that he didn't immediately table his heart 8 or club queen, as many of his ignorant and clueless GIBBO brethren have been known to do.

He now has to decide between spades and diamonds. Here is his "thought" process:

"Let's see now: My spades are LONGER than my diamonds. My spades are STRONGER than my diamonds. My partner East MIGHT have doubled North's 2D transfer bid if he had good diamonds, so the fact that he DIDN'T double is an indication that perhaps he DOESN'T have good diamonds. Okay, then - that settles it - I'll lead a...DIAMOND!"

So, The Master of Illogical "Thinking" leads a VERY ineffective diamond...and not even the RIGHT diamond, because from his holding of QJ96, the queen would be best, but he opts for the 6 because...well, because he's a typically braindead GIBBO robot.

South wins dummy's SEVEN, cashes dummy's king, takes a winning heart hook to his jack, cashes his diamond ace, and plays his diamond 10.

West wins this (trick 5) with his last remaining diamond, the queen. He then leads his...queen of clubs (!)...and...Bob's your uncle...before you can even blink, declarer emerges with TWELVE tricks...and WEST emerges with...yet ANOTHER total ZERO to add to his MASSIVE and ever-increasing lifetime total of pure, unadulterated failure.

GIBBO robots are useless, worthless, and hopeless. The compassionate thing to do would be to put them out of their misery and euthanize them.

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/2p963k6y

[benellis58]

The typically pathetic GIB definition of 3NT claims that it shows "No good support in diamonds", but since it's a miserable, incomplete GIB definition, it of COURSE...FAILS to state what it means by the words "no good support".

It also says "No third spade". Why? WHY? WHY, pray tell? Why the HELL can't South have a third spade? What if he has a flat hand with values in the other three suits? What if he - UNLIKE GIBBO - is aware that NT scores better than spades?

South, as he OFTEN does, IGNORES the piece of trash GIB definition and bids 3NT, which becomes the final contract. West, a GIBBO robot, leads a HEART when a CLUB would seem to be a more NORMAL choice. South makes an overtrick. South scores 100 %. West adds ANOTHER zero to his HUGE, OVERPOWERING collection.

GIBBO robots are hopeless. GIB definitions are pathetic.

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/yck6uzj7

[benellis58]

True to form, West leads his WEAKER major. True to form, West foolishly and cowardly pops his heart king the first time hearts are led towards dummy's Q96. True to form, West then leads a CLUB...the SAME suit DECLARER had played earlier. True to form, West gets a LOUSY score on the board: a pitiful 3.6 %. Probably the only disappointment the rube feels is that he didn't succeed in adding ANOTHER complete zero to his collection.

Yes, West IS a GIBBO robot, but tell me: How were you able to figure that out?

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/2p88jn9p

[benellis58]

We scored 89.3 % for making 4S, so I'm not arguing with the result, but let's just say that North did not exactly UNDEBID his hand, and let's also note that this was not a great game. Among other things, we were very lucky that East did not lead a club, although to be fair, his diamond lead was normal (for once).

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/2p87ypuf

[benellis58]

North can't bid TWO spades (quite understandably), but he has NO problem whatsoever in bidding THREE (!!!) spades...RED AGAINST WHITE (!)...in the PASSOUT (!) seat...with his...ZERO (!!!) HCP!

What's his motto? Perhaps it should be, "I'm willing to let you take me for the biggest TELEPHONE NUMBER in history...at UNFAVOURABLE vulnerability, but I will NOT let you play a partial at the three level."

One of the countless, countless, COUNTLESS flaws with these contemptible, nauseating GIBBO lowlifes is that they are TOTALLY oblivious to vulnerability.

At least we were "lucky" enough to salvage 17.9 % on the board for "only" going down one.

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/4mr2xpj6

[benellis58]

Another interesting thread:

https://www.bridgeba...to-blow-a-slam/

[benellis58]

Just played a game with three GIBBO robots, which means I saw a huge amount of atrocious bridge by the clueless dolts - as usual. I'll write about SOME of the nonsense - just SOME, because I'd need to live three lifetimes to document ALL the GIBBO stupidity that I see hand after hand from these appalling dimwits.

[benellis58]

I scored 78.6 % for going down one in 2S, but I'm posting this hand because of its humour. West was presumably desperate - DESPERATE, I say - for heart ruffs. Okay, he led his stiff heart jack - fair enough. East made the normal play of ducking, and I won my king. Then, with nothing else that looked particularly appetizing, and figuring the heart situation was what it actually was, I led a second heart towards dummy at trick two, and as I figured he would do, Superstooge ruffed what would have been his partner's NATURAL heart winner.

But then -curiously for someone so DESPERATE for ruffs, the clueless jackass played a trump at trick three. I won my ace and led a third round of hearts, figuring that the IMBECILE would AGAIN ruff his partner's (second!) natural heart trick - which of COURSE he did. Who needs "Seinfeld" reruns? Who needs "Curb Your Enthusiasm" DVDs? If you're looking for huge LAUGHS, ALL you need to do is watch GIBBO robots ATTEMPT to play bridge!

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/5n8x53u6

[benellis58]

I'm happy with our score of 96.4 % for making 3D, but that does NOT mean that North bid it well. As usual, he bid it like the clueless GIBBO imbecile he is. Why the HELL would he bid 3D? I could conceivably have been void. His decision to COMPETE is fine, but he should double. And if THAT'S too difficult for the ignorant rube, then he should bid 3C. Over either of those actions I would have bid 3D (since I actually HAD diamonds on THIS random hand), so he gained...NOTHING by stupidly and arbitrarily bidding 3D himself, and he LUCKED OUT in catching me with decent diamond support.

The braindead jerk didn't even respect his own GIB definition of 3D, which stated (accurately, for ONCE) that the bid shows "6+ diamonds".

Please RETIRE these GIBBO pieces of trash! They're an embarrassment to BBO, which is an OTHERWISE fine bridge site.

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/v478mdj9

[benellis58]

As you can see, my 1NT opener is - let's say...not exactly from the textbook. Why? Because when I play at a table with three GIBBO robots, I often operate, since I know that my "partner" and both my opponents are, by definition, among the worst "bridge players" of ALL time and are HOPELESSLY incompetent.

The poor clowns are also hampered by the imbecilic, illogical, incomplete, antiquated GIBBO system that they (and sadly WE!) are forced to play. Here's one example of what a hopeless JOKE the GIBBO system is:

Had I, South, elected to double East's 2S call, it would have been for...TAKEOUT! That is INCREDIBLY stupid...EVEN within the context of the insane, unworkable piece of trash that passes for the GIBBO system.

I had OPENED 1NT, so North already had a good picture of my hand (or at least the hand that I PURPORTED to have - ha, ha). I had shown a flattish 15-17 HCP hand, so why would I now want to or have to make a TAKEOUT double? And all the MORE so, since my partner's double of 2C was STAYMAN (!), which the robots play as showing values and asking for majors. (Yes, they might sometimes lack a four-card major, as they use Phony Stayman to invite in no trump...but who CARES?). I was sitting BEHIND the 2S bidder, so for double to be defined as "takeout" rather than penalty on THIS auction is completely ludicrous.

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/y3vuemk9

[benellis58]

Stupid lead, bad "defence". What else is new?

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/3dw2x6u5

[benellis58]

Another completely stupid lead, but the REAL laughter comes at tricks two and three!

I win Johnny Halfwit's braindead lead with dummy's ace and at trick two I lead dummy's club 2 towards my hand. Donald J. Dumbo in the East plays the 3, I play my queen, and Halfwit, with A74, follows with the 4. At trick three, I lead my 10 of clubs, and Halfwit shows the whole WORLD that he has a VERY appropriate surname. The absolute I.D.I.O.T....POPS his ace (from his remaining A7!), thereby CRASHING Dumbo's now-stiff king!

As I have often VERY accurately said: If we TRIED to create robots that were as inept as the GIBBO jabronis, we would have a VERY difficult task - perhaps even an IMPOSSIBLE one, because the slimebags are just so, SO bad!

As you have undoubtedly guessed, these two stumblebums added yet ANOTHER total zero to their MAMMOTH collection with this ridiculous joke of a result.

Why are these GIBBO monstrosities still on BBO? Why haven't they been replaced with DECENT robots?

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/535ujapm

[benellis58]

As you can see, I operated again. I don't exactly have a "weak jump overcall"...but with three M.O.R.O.N.S. in the North, West, and East chairs, I might as well amuse myself!

West has a NORMAL heart lead, but because he's a GIBBO robot (synonym: imbecile), he makes one of his favourite IMBECILIC leads: his stiff trump.

8 tricks for NS. 100 % for NS. Yet ANOTHER zero for Frick and Frack. Please send them to the North Pole. They're beyond hope at bridge, but maybe they can polish Santa's sleigh.

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/y36yafay

[benellis58]

Another completely witless lead:

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/37u8phvv

[benellis58]

Frequent contributor OMARHEUM has supplied more examples of the hideousness of GIB/GIBBO. Here is the first.

He writes "I try minor suit Stayman, invite with 4NT, and Ox accepts with a minimum 15 (!) including all four jacks. This also occurs at 38 other tables, so the 39 of us each score 83% on the board when the diamond finesse happens to work."

My comments:

1. An ADDED weakness of the North hand that OMAR did not mention is that, with its pancake flat 4-3-3-3 shape, the hand has NO particular source of tricks.

2. Sadly, this particular example of GIBBO stupidity, poor judgment, unilateral and often ridiculous decisions, and apparent absence of even a basic knowledge of how to count, is a hallmark of these pieces of trash. The same thing has happened to me on numerous occasions. It actually seems that if someone is going to make a quantitative invitation to slam with a cursed GIBBO robot they might as well just bid it themselves, because the braindead dipstick sitting across from them will probably leap to the slam no matter what he has.

3. Then, of course, we have the typically PATHETIC GIB definitions. North's 1NT showed 15-17 HCP, so why the HELL is his 2NT reply to MSS defined as showing "15-16 HCP"? Why can he NOW have a maximum of ONLY 16? And why is South's 4NT described as EXACTLY "17 HCP"? And why does the definition of North's 6NT even INCLUDE the ridiculous tripe about "18- total points"? The strain is NO TRUMP, so "total" points are irrelevant here, and they are ALWAYS irrelevant in GIB definitions anyway, because GIB has repeatedly proven that it knows NOTHING about "total" points.

4. The GIB definition of 6NT says that it shows EXACTLY "16 HCP". North has (only) 15, so we're back to square one, which is...why is this M.O.R.O.N. accepting with a...bare minimum? We also note that - as he SO often does - the execrable GIBBO robot is ignoring his own GIB definition.

5. East leads a heart, which is as good a guess as any...but why is the DWEEB wastefully leading the 10 instead of a normal fourth-best 2? It happened to be irrelevant on this random hand, but on another random hand it could be costly.

6. Conclusions: GIBBO robots are garbage. GIB definitions are garbage. Both should be expunged and replaced by DECENT robots and DECENT definitions.

https://www.bridgeba...D2%7Cmc%7C12%7C

[benellis58]

OMAR notes that for the SAME hand discussed in post # 2016 immediately above, "At 33 tables, the simple auction ends at 4NT".

My comments:

Note the gross, inexplicable INCONSISTENCY of the absolutely repulsive GIBBO robots! In BOTH scenarios, they have EXACTLY the same hand. In BOTH scenarios, their partner makes a quantitative 4NT call, yet in the first they merrily (and stupidly) leap to 6NT, while in the second they blithely pass 4NT. Why? WHY? WHY???!!!

https://www.bridgeba...D2%7Cmc%7C12%7C

[benellis58]

Another OMAR hand: He writes "Another 83% hand - just sending for interest, as all kings outside the trump suit were worthless to us in 1S, which barely made".

The only comment that I have HERE, in post # 2018, is that it seems (?) that with BBO layouts, hooks very often lose and/or suits very often split badly. I will make further comments in post # 2019, immediately following this one, as the same hand will be discussed but from a DIFFERENT table than OMAR's.

https://www.bridgeba...SK%7Cpc%7CH8%7C

[benellis58]

As promised, the same hand discussed in post # 2018 immediately above, but from a different table. OMAR writes "That was the result at 28 tables. At 24 other tables it went quite differently."

My comments:

1. Yes, QUITE differently indeed, as you will see when you examine the link at the bottom of this post.

2. More GIBBO inconsistency: I find it very amusing that at OMAR's table (and 27 others) the GIBBO robots sold out to a lowly ONE spade...yet at 24 other tables, the EW robots bid all the way up to FOUR (!) hearts! This is not a mild discrepancy - it's a Mount EVEREST of a difference in hand evaluation by the always unpredictable and NEVER intelligent GIBBO robots.

3. Okay, it's time to BASH some GIB definitions, which is what we'll do for most of the remainder of this post.

4. 1C begins with the words "Minor-suit opening". Please STOP it, GIB! Please STOP with this annoying, ENTIRELY useless, and ALWAYS insulting garbage! Do you REALLY think you need to inform BBO users that 1C is a "minor-suit opening"? And EVEN if someone DIDN'T already know that (ha, ha, HA!), how would that "new-found" knowledge be of ANY use to them ANYWAY in the auction?

5. 1S begins with the words "One over one". Are these words REALLY necessary, GIB? You're not addressing braindead, useless GIBBO robots - you're addressing BBO's HUMAN players, ALL of whom are alert enough to KNOW that a bid of 1S over 1C is "one over one". And again, even if they DIDN'T know (ha, ha, HA!), how on EARTH would these completely USELESS three words help them in ANY way during the auction? Please STOP this garbage in the pathetic GIB definitions.

6. 2S begins with more useless GARBAGE: "Simple raise". ENOUGH!

7. West's double of 2S is defined as showing "4+ diamonds". Where ARE they? I see only three.

8. West's double of 2S is also defined as showing "14-16 total points". I hate to break it to you, GIB, but West does NOT have "14-16 total points". In your defence, you have repeatedly proven that you know NOTHING about "total" points, so that might explain your INCORRECT statement, but then why do you ever even BOTHER writing about "total" points, since you know NOTHING about them?

9. That's it for definition- bashing, but now take a look at North's insane 4S call...RED against WHITE. Please incinerate the worthless GIBBO robots AND the useless, pathetic GIB definitions. They are disgraces to bridge (an otherwise fine game) AND to BBO (an otherwise fine bridge site).

https://www.bridgeba...CJ%7Cpc%7CST%7C

[benellis58]

East switches to a CLUB at trick two. Why a CLUB on THAT auction and looking at THAT dummy? Why not a diamond, the suit his "partner" actually BID?

East gets squeezed. He scores a mere 14.3 % on the board...which is precisely 14.3 % more than the hopeless GIBBO robots EVER deserve on ANY hand. These born losers DESERVE to get a ZERO on EVERY hand they play.

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/sdd4bj2c