[benellis58]

Another interesting thread:

https://www.bridgeba...spades-with-ax/

[benellis58]

OMARHEUM has sent some more hands. For this one he wrote "East opens 1C where I think most would open 1H."

I don't know if "most" WOULD open 1H, but I think they SHOULD, because the hand is not good enough for a reverse, so in many situations an EW heart fit will be missed when East opens 1C, although that was not the case here.

The GIBBO robots always open their longer suit whether it's right or wrong on any particular hand, because they apparently never learned about prepared bidding.

The GIB definitions are as annoying as usual. For example, in the definition of 1C, GIB feels that it's SUPER-important to inform us that 1C is a "Minor suit opening". I guess GIB figures no one would EVER have figured that out by themselves. Next, GIB tells us that South's ONE spade OVERCALL is a..."one-level overcall". Oh yeah, really, REALLY important to mention that, GIB.

Here's a special request, GIB: Please put a sock in it.

https://www.bridgeba...CDJ%7Cmc%7C9%7C

[benellis58]

Another from OMAR: He writes "North promises four spades with his 2H bid. I see only three."

So do I, OMAR. As is (sigh) so often the case, the GIBBO robot does not adhere to his own GIB definition. Beyond that, however, I'm wondering: Since when did a bid of two hearts in this situation show spades (!) in the GIBBO system? Does it actually show spades?

And again the GIB definitions seem designed to ANNOY. We are told that 1D is a "minor suit opening". We are told that 1H is "one over one".

And not only are the definitions annoying, but they are also inaccurate and filled with the type of blissful ignorance so frequently manifested by the twin terrors of GIB and GIBBO. To wit: 2H is defined as "4+ spades; 8+ HCP; 8- total points". We've already seen that North does NOT have "4+ spades", but we are also reminded that GIB has no comprehension whatsoever of even the basic concept of "total" points. The definition sloppily claims that 2H shows "8+ HCP", which literally means 8-37, and that it shows "8- total points", which literally means zero to 8. In addition to the lazy vagueness of both these statements, it's quite obvious that GIB thinks North cam have MORE HCP than "total" points, perhaps even many more.

Wake up and smell the roses, GIB! Or at least the tulips! As I have mentioned multiple times, HCP can be less than or equal to "total" points, but they CANNOT be greater. "Total" points are ascertained by BEGINNING with HCP and then, if applicable, ADDING more points for distribution. That's "adding", GIB, - NOT subtracting! Anyone who sees nonsense such as this will IMMEDIATELY lose any and all faith in your usually pathetic GIB definitions...if they were naive enough to ever have faith in them in the first place.

But maybe I'm being too harsh, GIB. After all, you DID tell us that oh-so-important fact that 1D is a "minor suit opening". At least you know THAT. Now if you could learn a LITTLE bit about bridge, it would be a start!

https://www.bridgeba...CDT%7Cmc%7C8%7C

[benellis58]

And one more from OMAR. Here he writes "Takeout double with no diamond support".

Indeed. But let's be fair: The definition of South's 2S bid in response to North's transfer via 2H begins with words that GIB apparently thinks are vital - VITAL! "What are those words?" you might be asking. Those words are..."Transfer completed to spades". Enough, GIB - for the love of mercy, ENOUGH with all this useless bilge in your pathetic definitions.

But perhaps I'm being too harsh again. After all, GIB does give this truly wonderful definition for 3H: "4+ hearts; 20- total points". Well, well, well, GIB, that REALLY narrows it down. We now know with CERTAINTY that East CANNOT have 21 points. He CAN have zero...or twenty...or anything in between, but he CANNOT have 21. Wow! SO informative, SO useful. Thank you SO much for that superlative picture of his hand!

https://www.bridgeba...CH5%7Cmc%7C6%7C

[benellis58]

Against South's 4S, West leads a diamond at trick one from J762. Okay, fair enough, no problem...but WATCH what will soon happen! Dummy tables Q109. Declarer South calls for the 9. East...HESITATES (yes, the GIBBO robots DO often hesitate) and plays the 8 (a STUPID play, as we will soon see), and declarer South follows with the three, meaning that dummy's NINE has won this first diamond trick.

At trick two, declarer leads dummy's stiff club 10 to his king, and West wins the ace.

At trick three. West STUPIDLY leads...another diamond (!) even after seeing what had happened at trick one! Declarer, of course, plays dummy's 10, and whether East covers with his king or not, declarer has THREE diamond winners and NO diamond losers! He began with A53 in his hand opposite Q109 in dummy, so the ONLY way he could EVER take THREE winners and NO losers was if the braindead GIBBO "defenders" led diamonds TWICE. East had been correct to withhold his king at trick one (or else declarer could have later hooked West for the jack), but West had been a TOTAL I.D.I.O.T. to play a SECOND round of diamonds. East had not been blameless either: He should have followed with his THREE, not his EIGHT, at trick one...although that did not excuse West's GROSS stupidity. GIBBO robots absolutely rot!

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/4c683ybe

[benellis58]

The GIB robots were even worse than the current GIBBO ones. Among other things, they STUPIDLY (yes, that word DOES get used a LOT when writing about GIB and GIBBO robots!) used to (perversely and illogically) LOVE to lead their shortest suits against NT. Fortunately, Lorserker corrected a fair amount of utter NONSENSE that had plagued the disgustingly bad GIB robots, so now the GIBBO robots, while still really, REALLY bad at just about everything pertaining to bridge, are at least better on opening leads than their GIB predecessors.

And yet...what the Hell happened HERE? Did a GIB robot somehow sneak in and occupy the West chair? Because on this board, West made the stupefyingly ridiculous lead of his stiff diamond 7.

Here's my constructive suggestion, BBO, on how to MASSIVELY improve your otherwise fine bridge site: Get RID of anything and everything involving GIB and GIBBO, and REPLACE it with DECENT robots, a DECENT system, and DECENT definitions. Your site will be MUCH better...AND much more attractive to BBO players, members, supporters, and customers. That should help you to retain existing clients and attract new ones in this era where many OTHER bridge sites are offering alternatives.

You're welcome.

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/yc38t49t

[benellis58]

Typically stupid cuebid (3H) by East, pushing his poor partner to FOUR clubs... down ONE. A GIBBO specialty: converting a plus to a minus for NO reason. And if you check the GIB definition for East's imbecilic 3H call, you'll see that the ignorant stooge does not even have what his own definition says he is supposed to.

Please get RID of these hopeless, useless, worthless GIBBO clowns.

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/57ejx8tt

[benellis58]

West leads his stiff club against South's 5H.

WHY? Is he looking for a RUFF? The VULNERABLE opponents have voluntarily bid FIVE hearts over East-West's 4S, after West's partner East had made a PRE-EMPTIVE (!) jump to 4S. West sees in his own hand TWO...ACES...including the ace of trump (hearts). Does West REALLY think that East will have an ENTRY (!!!) to give him the ruff that he oh so desperately craves? Just HOW clueless ARE these GIBBO robots?

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/2p8n3xj7

[benellis58]

North's 2D is defined as "New suit; 3+ diamonds; 4+ spades; 12+ total points; forcing to 3NT".

North is a GIBBO robot, so we know he is nothing but garbage.

The definition is a GIB definition, so we know that IT is nothing but garbage. Let's look at this GIB garbage piece by revolting piece:

"New suit", Guess what, GIB? You did NOT have to mention that. All it serves to do is to remind everyone that GIB definitions are not only useless pieces of trash that are very often incomplete and/or inaccurate but that they also contain totally useless, unnecessary, annoying, insulting bilge such as this.

"3+ diamonds". Yeah, one of the many bad things about the antiquated, hopeless GIBBO joke of a system.

"4+ spades". Fair enough, although I think we already knew that when North responded one spade!

"12+ total points". Maybe, maybe not, but any mention of "total" points in a GIB definition should just be completely ignored, because GIB has repeatedly proven that it lacks even a basic understanding of "total" points.

"Forcing to 3NT". Okay...EXCEPT THAT (!!!) THIS is what the IMBECILE'S hand is: AK983, Q1098, J1062, 8! Why is this ignorant GIBBO jackass FORCING to 3NT with this mere TEN-COUNT after 1C by his partner, 1S by him, and a MERE 2C by his partner? Can it be that these GIBBO pieces of garbage, who have ALWAYS been nothing BUT garbage, are getting even WORSE?

GIB/GIBBO stinks...and maybe even worse than ever!

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/37rf5mfr

[benellis58]

To his credit, West actually finds the best lead against 3NT.

But then again, although it IS the best lead, maybe it's NOT "to his credit", because it's actually a silly, illogical, ABNORMAL lead that by a total fluke just happened to be the best lead on this random layout on this random hand.

After South opened 1NT in fourth seat and North leapt to 3NT, West was on lead with Q108, 982, AQJ54, 97. For absolutely NO logical or discernible reason, he led the...8 of spades, thereby BLINDLY...STUMBLING into what happened to be the best lead.

Maybe the ONLY time these C.R.E.T.I.N.O.U.S. misfits do anything "good" is when they STUMBLE into it TOTALLY by chance.

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/2p8znse9

[benellis58]

Does East lead his ace of diamonds (the ONLY suit that was not bid NATURALLY in the NS auction) against the club SLAM that NS have bid? No, he doesn't. Why not? Because he's a GIBBO robot, which means that he is one of the worst "bridge players" of all time and is too blindingly stupid to figure things out logically.

So what DOES the bozo lead? He leads a ...SPADE, declarer's KNOWN second suit...INTO declarer. He then watches declarer take all 13 tricks.

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/2p8esaa7

[benellis58]

I suspect that most human players would bid 1S over West's 1H. North, being that unpleasant piece of slime known as a GIBBO robot, JUMPS to three DIAMONDS. I'm not even going to waste time discussing why this is silly.

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/2p8u84sc

[benellis58]

I've often said that I often operate in games with three GIBBO robots, because I know going in that my "partner" and my opponents are all hopelessly incompetent and mind-blowingly stupid fools with absolutely no idea of how to play bridge.

I've also mentioned that these operations work out more often than not. If they didn't, I would obviously stop performing them.

But I've also said that sometimes they don't work out, which is to be expected.

Here's an operation that most definitely did not work out. We scored 7.1 % on the board and were very lucky to get even that much. I would not have complained if it was a zero, because it deserved to be a zero. Furthermore, I take full responsibility for this bad score and do not blame my partner North at all for it.

You might be asking, "So why are you telling us about this, Ben? It's very honest of you to admit your culpability on the board, but this thread that Diana so wisely created and titled last August is NOT about bashing yourself or any other humans - it's about bashing the wretched and contemptible GIBBO robots, in order to expose their glaring and never-ending flaws in the hopes that the powers that be will FINALLY either HUGELY improve them or, better yet, DESTROY them FOREVER and replace them with DECENT robots."

You are exactly correct, dear reader! This essential thread IS about bashing GIBBO robots, and that is exactly why I am posting this hand! In the interests of complete and honest disclosure, I set the stage with the early part of this post, but now I will, as the great Shirley Ellis sang six decades ago, "Get right down to the real nitty gritty".

And the REAL nitty gritty, despite the fact that I take full responsibility for our bad score on this board, is that North (also?) bid the hand like a M.O.R.O.N. In my defence (maybe?) I at least KNEW that I was taking a flyer with my bizarre bidding, because I was (duh) operating. North has no such excuse. North is just a typically imbecilic GIBBO robot (lowest of the low, worst of the worst, a STAIN on the game).

Why do I say that? Because...

Our uninterrupted joke of an auction was my bizarre 2NT opening, his 3D transfer to hearts, my subsequent normal 3H bid, and his 3NT call which ended the auction (defined by GIB as "5+ hearts, 5-10 HCP"). Not surprisingly, the GIB definition was typically pathetic. The description itself was almost reasonable (although certain details were not fully explained), but the MAIN point of the bid was glaringly absent. That main point was that his 3NT call was offering me a choice of games and basically saying, "Pard, please either pass 3NT or convert to 4H, according to which you think is better, based on YOUR hand and on your knowledge of MY hand". Yes, that's all fairly obvious, but it should still be included in a good definition.

But HERE'S the thing: THIS was North's hand: AQ976, K10872, 102, 8!!!! The stunningly incompetent, monumentally stupid jerk had FIVE...EXCELLENT...SPADES that he NEVER showed. He was FIVE-FIVE in the MAJORS, yet he unilaterally and arbitrarily transferred to one of them, totally ignored the other, and ALL BY HIMSELF decreed that we would play in either 3NT or 4H! We could EASILY have ended in the wrong strain (WHATEVER I had, and even if my bidding had been perfectly fine and normal). Furthermore, assuming that I had a legitimate and normal 2NT opener, we could EASILY have ben missing a slam in one of the majors.

GIBBO robots are absolute garbage. Please get rid of them and replace them with DECENT ones.

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/mr2h32bx

[benellis58]

Typically stupid lead by a typically stupid GIBBO robot: The 6 of spades from 63 doubleton INTO a declarer who has shown at least 5-5 in the majors. Do these GIBBO monstrosities EVER do anything that is NOT stupid?

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/2p8vkc7p