[mikeh]

After many years of often invigorating, sometimes frustrating and almost always informative participation in this forum I have decided to leave. Only time will tell whether this is a permanent decision or something that will prove to be temporary.

What precipitated this was an increasingly acrimonious exchange with a valued contributor to the forum. It descended to accusations of dishonesty. At the same time, I was reading a thread on BW about a poster who had been banned, and I read some of the posts that had got him into trouble, and was disturbed to realize that on occasion I used a similar tone in my posts here. So the decision, while prompted by an exchange with one particular poster, is more about recognizing issues in how I have communicated here than it is about anyone else. The recent exchange is the trigger, not the cause. To the extent that anyone wishes I did not quit, please do not cast blame on anyone other than me.

In hindsight, I believe that one of the problems has been that I have allowed something that is an asset in my vocation, as a trial lawyer, to colour the way I write here. I tend, as counsel, to present arguments and assertions in a manner suggestive of a confident belief in my position, even if I harbour more doubt than is apparent. In addition, as a trial date approaches, I tend to become ever more convinced of the validity of my ideas...as I tell clients, when warning them that my objectivity diminishes on the eve of trial, if I can't convince myself, I am unlikely to convince a Judge or jury. I think that sometimes that ability to convince myself overcame more considered judgement.

I think, therefore, that despite (usually) good intentions, many of my posts come across as less respectful of other opinions than would be warranted or appropriate.

I think that this problem is compounded by the nature of the medium. I sometimes write posts with tongue firmly in cheek only to find that someone has taken it seriously and problems ensue. I don't want to inflate the significance of this: such instances are rare. More commonly, either I read into someone's post something that was either not there or not intended, or someone reads into one of my posts something I did not, at least, consciously intend to convey. In other cases, I post too quickly, and end up saying something that is clearly wrong or inappropriately phrased.

All of these issues are accentuated, in seriousness, by the tone I often use. That tone has often infuriated some readers...I suspect that there have been more than just the handful who have responded publicly.

So on reflection I think it best that I take at least an extended break from posting. I hereby apologize to those I have offended. I am not pretending that I never knowingly offended a small number of posters, but I suspect that the number I have offended well exceeds the number I intended to offend, and to those and to those who read my posts with some disquiet, I apologize. And to those I intentionally offended, I also apologize. Disagreement is fine, but should be more respectful than I sometimes was.

Explanations of how some of that offence was unintended do not constitute and are not offered as justifications or excuses. As someone who uses language as a tool in my vocation, I ought to be more fully aware than I was to the effect of tone and the possibility that nuances I had in mind (on some posts) would not be apparent to anyone simply reading the printed word. The faults were mine, and I regret them sincerely.

I wish all who post or browse here all the best. I have learned a lot about bridge in my time here, and have come to think of some posters here as friends despite never meeting them in real life. Thank you all.

[diana_eva]

Mike, I hope you reconsider this decision. I for one have learned a lot from your posts, and always appreciated that you took the time to answer my (often silly) posts, as well as many other posts in the newbie or intermediate forums.

[billw55]

Bummer

[mattias]

I don't post often, but feel the need now. You are one of very few posters with consistently high quality posts. I hope that you will reconsider soon, and will miss your posts while you are gone.

[hrothgar]

Hi Mike,

You will be missed.

Ciao

[kenberg]

I am about to go out and fight the traffic so this will be brief. I approach your posts, including this one of farewell, with confidence that they will be interesting, well written and worth the time. I see the world somewhat differently than you do but that is hardly a bad thing.

There are times that I think I should go as well. We all know each others views pretty well by now so there is the danger of repetition or at least of predictability.

Anyway, I wish you the best.

Maybe we need some more inventive topics. It could, perhaps, lure you back.

[Cyberyeti]

While I sometimes don't agree with you, I always value your opinions. I hope you reconsider this decision soon.

[cherdano]

Phoniest GBCW ever. Mikeh attacks another forum posters character by making wrong claims about a private conversation; mikeh stands by these claims after they have been called out; mikeh gets called out on this, this time with evidence; mikeh writes long eloquent GBCW apologising for...his tone.

[Fluffy]

Thanks for the things you taught me. You will not be forgotten.

[Hanoi5]

I think it's crazy that you even compare yourself to Dean Pokorny. I would really like to know who could have felt offended (besides Cherdano) by any of your posts.

You certainly took a rather timid or incredolous (or lawyerfull?) stance towards the recent cheating scandal. But your bridge comments were always of a conservative view and very good to read.

You had an antagonist figure in Cherdano who was always behind your every comment (apparently) waiting to say anything against whatever you said. Great! What a boring life when you have no enemies! Sometimes people create them in order to add some spice. It would be sad that you went away for this reason.

So I hope you reconsider your position and continue writing and helping bridge players get better.

[Thiros]

I think we're only seeing this because in the recent Canadian general election, a new face has defeated incumbent Stephen Harper. Getting out has become worthwhile in Canada again.

[Vampyr]

I will really miss your thoughtful posts. Could you not compromise and continue to post on bridge matters?

[eagles123]

I don't understand why this site cant just be about bridge and not silly politics and one upmanship between different posters. If there's posters you don't like just block them and ignore them!!

[WellSpyder]

I may not always agree with what mikeh says, but I think his post here is the first time I have really felt he has got something completely wrong. It is always a pleasure to read one of his posts since I know it will be well-argued and may well raise perspectives that I haven't really considered before. And I don't think any apology is needed for the tone, either - they may be strongly argued, but they are invariably polite. I would not complain about a "timid" approach on the cheating scandals, either - I was really glad to see someone prepared to think a bit more objectively than the mob about how to avoid confirmation bias and perhaps to consider the perspective of someone who might be falsely accused in the future, which might be any one of us.

[gordontd]

I'm not going to up-vote this post of yours, Mike, since I don't want it to seem as though I welcome you leaving, but I do wish I had up-voted more of your earlier posts so that you would be aware what a valuable contributor I think you to be. Please reconsider!

[Trinidad]

I can only agree with most of the reactions.

Many times I agree with Mike, sometimes I don't and sometimes the debates can get quite fierce.

I never have doubted Mike's integrity. I do think he is somewhat overzealous from time to time... something that I am often guilty of myself too.

Mike, I will miss your posts, but I will respect your decision. In a way it is good that you realize that there are more important things to do than pointing out that someone is wrong on the internet.

Rik

[billw55]

 cherdano, on 2015-October-21, 15:11, said:

Phoniest GBCW ever. Mikeh attacks another forum posters character by making wrong claims about a private conversation; mikeh stands by these claims after they have been called out; mikeh gets called out on this, this time with evidence; mikeh writes long eloquent GBCW apologising for...his tone.

smh

[captyogi]

Hi Mike,

quote
= = = =
I think it best that I take at least an extended break from posting
= = = =
unquote

I liked this line. This OK. No Full Stop.

As regards offending, to counter some point, with own justification, may not be construed and an offence by one, if they consider, we are helpless.
This is open public forum, when we express ourselves we, each one of us is subject to scrutiny by others, in public.
We respect right to freedom of Expression of others, all should.

Have Nice Good Vacation and Come Back.

[Winstonm]

Mike,

I imposed a self ban once. It helps. I will be looking forward to your return.

[Al_U_Card]

Intelligence involves learning from our experiences and applying that to our future actions.

Arrogant disdain likely works well in a courtroom, when undermining the credibility of a witness and influencing gullible jurors.
Respectful acceptance of alternate views and stands likely doesn't win cases but maintains a balance in how the world is seen and responded to in general. Calm and reasoned argument is always welcome and needed.

Sensible discourse is based upon respect and reason. Factual representations help this along.

Do unto others etc. and remember that our passage is our presence and it is not to be missed.