[wank]

Seeing the other thread about the woman who refused to play against precision made me think of the only time I ever played in an ACBL event.

I was in America for a WBF event but it had finished and my friend and I were just killing time until our flight that evening. We chose to kill time at the venue which was at the same time hosting one of your summer national things. One of the directors emerged and asked us if we could make up a movement - it was just a multiple teams qualifier. We had nothing better to do so we agreed.

Not much happened really....until we get to the final table/final 2 boards.

As soon as we arrived, we shared the sort of glance you share when you notice something's awry. My RHO, a middle aged woman, was sat wearing a big set of headphones at the table. This would be unusual enough in a bridge event, but the cord for the headphones was just dangling on the table so obviously wasn't connected to anything.

We start to bid the first hand, and everything's progressing normally enough except in a rather strange atmosphere. Then suddenly my RHO shrieks at me, 'Don't snap the cards'. I was a little bemused as I wasn't aware of any card-snapping proclivities I may have. LHO, a middle aged man with a run away beard, turns to me to explain that RHO has a problem with her hearing, such that snapping of the cards is painful for her, hence the oversized headphones she's wearing. I was a trifle dubious about this, but I said ok. We finished the board (we had doubled a cold, but non-trivial, 5♦ but LHO had misplayed it and gone off).

Board 2: I can't remember the contract or the bidding, but LHO is declarer again. Dummy goes down and I win the first trick and start to think a little. At this point LHO evidently realised he fluffed the 5♦X on the previous board. He's muttering to himself about it being cold and he starts to go through how he should have played it, speaking quite loudly: "Queen of spades, diamond ruff, ace of hearts, diamond ruff, king of hearts, diamond ruff." I don't know why he was saying diamond ruff when diamonds were trumps though.

I was trying not to laugh and I glance up at partner and she's desperately trying to control her face. I composed myself and play a card. Declarer won and drew a round of trumps on which partner discarded. I knew there was no way partner could be void, but it was before the rules changed to allow defenders to ask, so I just followed low and sat there. Partner (who had been understandably distracted by what was happening) realised though in time and called the director. Partner now had a penalty card on the table so the director started to explain to LHO about his rights. LHO didn't want to hear though so turned his chair 90 degrees so he was facing me and had his back to the director and started to hum loudly in an attempt to drown out what the director was saying. The director manfully finished his recitation of the relevant law. LHO exercised whichever option he chose and play and LHO's vocal run through of the previous board countinued. The director had left the table by this point.

At about trick 6 I played a card, but I evidently snapped them again because RHO started shrieking about her hearing. Partner and I glanced at each other again, but this was all too much for my partner (you know what it's like when you're trying not to laugh and you see someone else who's trying not to laugh too) who started laughing so much she literally fell off her chair and couldn't get up for pretty close to a minute. During this time, the opps passed no comment whatsoever on my partner's relocation to the floor. BTW play at other tables was still going on around us. Eventually partner composed herself and we finished the board, again with declarer going through his 5♦X play.

My partner was a little embarrassed and went to the director to apologise for rolling in the aisle, but they said it happened often with this pair. The directors were more concerned with accrediting us some master points which proved a challenge for them as we aren't ACBL members.

[Vampyr]

wank, on 2012-January-19, 02:10, said:

I knew there was no way partner could be void, but it was before the rules changed to allow defenders to ask, so I just followed low and sat there.

When was the rule change, 1987 or 1977? Amazing that it took only until 2007 for the ACBL to get the Laws changed not only so that they could allow asking but so that everyone has to allow it.

[olegru]

Could I share my own old story about one of the first attempts to play in club in NY? (Me and my partner both Russians now living in NY )

My Partner: “1 ♣”
Olegru: “Alert!”
RHO: “Precision?”
Olegru: “No. Polish club, 11+ points, 1 round forcing, could be short.”
RHO: “Pass”
Olegru: “1 ♥”
No alert
RHO (visibly annoyed, in her partners turn to bid): “What is it?”
My Partner: “7+ points, 4+ hearts.”
RHO waving hand letting her partner to bid
LHO: “Pass”
Partner: “1NT”
RHO: “What is it?”
Olegru: “11-14 points, balanced. Treat our bidding exactly the same like it was the Standard.”
PHO: “Pass”
Olegru: “Pass”
PHO (thundering): “Director, I don’t understand this bidding!”
Director came. Investigate our convention cards (both on the table). Asked if 1 ♣ bid was alerted. (It was). Check my cards, check my partner cards.
Director: “This guy has balanced 11 points; this has balanced 7 points with 4 cards heart.” Director leaving.
I am (and I guess my partner too) shocked what instead of reading our agreements from CC, director gives them information about our actual hands, and giving much more than available from the bidding, but it is not the end of story.
LHO: double (surprize, surprize).
Partner slightly smiling and shakes the head.
LHO (squeals): “Opponent laughs at us! This is not appropriate!”
Director gives us a lecture about unacceptable behaviour in clubs. My attempt to share concerns about double and UI was ignored.
I believe it is not a surprize that we are playing in club tournaments in average 2 times per year (qualification for NAOP and Instant matchpoints).

[Vampyr]

olegru, on 2012-January-19, 10:18, said:

Director came. Investigate our convention cards (both on the table). Asked if 1 ♣ bid was alerted. (It was). Check my cards, check my partner cards.

I would not have let the director see my cards.

[Phil]

wank, on 2012-January-19, 02:10, said:

We start to bid the first hand, and everything's progressing normally enough except in a rather strange atmosphere. Then suddenly my RHO shrieks at me, 'Don't snap the cards'. I was a little bemused as I wasn't aware of any card-snapping proclivities I may have. LHO, a middle aged man with a run away beard, turns to me to explain that RHO has a problem with her hearing, such that snapping of the cards is painful for her, hence the oversized headphones she's wearing.

At about trick 6 I played a card, but I evidently snapped them again because RHO started shrieking about her hearing.

Yeah shes a peach isn't she? When I play against her my cards float gently down to the table. They do not SNAP; they caress the vinyl table cover. It's still a lot for her. I really cannot tell if this is a legitimate problem or shes just a head case. Probably a combo of both.

I could tell you two more things about her but shes not exactly an unknown, and I am not comfortable doing it in a public setting.

[ggwhiz]

Bridge is a character game, ummm make that characters.

An old Ron Anderson story has him betting Mike Passel a hundred bucks that he can make an opponent jump up, run over and bang his head against the wall during their match. Bet accepted and a few hands in Ron declares 6♠ to a ♥ lead, he plays dummies K and pitches a ♣.

Up from the table, rho BAM, comes back and Ron says sorry, I have a ♥. This pair got day passes to go play in tournaments.

[diana_eva]

ggwhiz, on 2012-January-20, 11:19, said:

Bridge is a character game, ummm make that characters.

An old Ron Anderson story has him betting Mike Passel a hundred bucks that he can make an opponent jump up, run over and bang his head against the wall during their match. Bet accepted and a few hands in Ron declares 6♠ to a ♥ lead, he plays dummies K and pitches a ♣.

Up from the table, rho BAM, comes back and Ron says sorry, I have a ♥. This pair got day passes to go play in tournaments.

http://andrew-gumper...headbanger.html

[Siegmund]

Quote

Quote

I knew there was no way partner could be void, but it was before the rules changed to allow defenders to ask, so I just followed low and sat there.

When was the rule change, 1987 or 1977? Amazing that it took only until 2007 for the ACBL to get the Laws changed not only so that they could allow asking but so that everyone has to allow it.

Defenders have always been allowed to ask each other in North America. In fact the rules used to be even more liberal: under the 1963 laws, any player including dummy may ask any other player if he has revoked. I don't know if it was 1975 or 1987 when dummy's explicit right to ask a defender disappeared from the laws -- I don't have a 1975 law book handy.

The only thing new in 1997 was publishing one law book for the whole world with elections allowed, under which the ACBL chose to continue to allow it and the rest-of-world continued to forbid it. Previously the ACBL published a law book for the western hemisphere and the WBF/Portland Club/whoever else published one for the eastern hemisphere. This was one of several longstanding differences between the two books.

[Vampyr]

Siegmund, on 2012-January-21, 15:27, said:

Defenders have always been allowed to ask each other in North America.

I had thought that this might be the case, but the OP clearly indicates otherwise. Has anyone got links to all the previoius Lawbooks (assuming, that is, that they have been digitised)?

[Siegmund]

I had the impression that OP was from an area where it was forbidden, and didn't know it was legal here when he visited.

I'm not aware of anywhere online where the books before 1987 are posted. I have hard copies of most but not all of the old ACBL versions, either law books or full reprints of the laws in old Official Encyclopedias or Hoyles. I've never seen copies of pre-1987 non-ACBL laws; it would be interesting to know if there was a time in the distant past they were the same and then diverged.

[Bbradley62]

Confirming partner's void was standard throughout my years in ACBL, 1983-1997.

[kenberg]

Apparently Phil can recognize the woman just from the data provided in the OP. This is an indication of how common such an event is, or isn't. At what point someone should be refused an entry on the grounds that they are just too weird is a political point that could well be debated, but really I doubt that one has to play bridge at the ACBL in order to encounter a nut.

It seems that card snapping has pretty much died out as a problem. My view is that if an opponent gets to snap cards, I get to whistle off key. Let's all be annoying and see if we can totally destroy the game.

[JLOGIC]

The anti card snapping woman is extremely well known if you are a tournament bridge player. There is another woman who is well known for having like 100 pencils at the table.

[kenberg]

I have not been playing tournaments so much for quite a while. So what's the scoop? Does she think everyone, or almost everyone, is snapping cards or is she truly just responding to the snappers? I really have not seen much snapping lately but maybe it's just my relative isolation.

Some years back I came to a table with a lot of kibs. I recognized rho, as just about anyone would. Lho, who I did not recognize, was wearing headphones with an electronic hum. Listening to music? Who knows. Anyway, I find electronic hums very distracting so I insisted he turn it off. He did. Then rho sucked the ice cubes out of his glass and began crunching on them. OK, he got to me. Sad but true. For a while he was writing a column on ethics, but I couldn't imagine myself reading it and it didn't last.

I guess it toughened me up since I haven't let someone get to me at the table since then, so maybe I should thank him. Nah.

[FrancesHinden]

kenberg, on 2012-January-22, 18:29, said:

, but really I doubt that one has to play bridge at the ACBL in order to encounter a nut.

Have you never played in an English event? Everyone dresses smartly (jacket & tie for men, dresses for women) and is very polite. Darjeeling tea is served in china cups by the waitresses. The TD calls the move by saying "I would be most obliged if you would move for the next round. Meanwhile the working-class servants will move the boards for you" I am sure that bad manners and strange behaviour are confined to the lower classes on the other side of the Atlantic.

[paulg]

FrancesHinden, on 2012-January-23, 16:33, said:

Have you never played in an English event? Everyone dresses smartly (jacket & tie for men, dresses for women) and is very polite. Darjeeling tea is served in china cups by the waitresses. The TD calls the move by saying "I would be most obliged if you would move for the next round. Meanwhile the working-class servants will move the boards for you" I am sure that bad manners and strange behaviour are confined to the lower classes on the other side of the Atlantic.

Of course the sgian-dubh (knives) will be out in force for a traditional Scottish welcome when Frances crosses the border in early March in play in the Home Internationals.

[ggwhiz]

kenberg, on 2012-January-22, 18:29, said:

At what point someone should be refused an entry on the grounds that they are just too weird.

I celebrate these weirdo's. Don't bar them and spoil my fun!

I once played the first match of a Regional Swiss at an Orlando NABC just down the road from the Magic Kingdom and a midget with a large magnifying lamp and hearing aids asked my pard and I to make the boards as she had bad arthritis.

We did and her partner appeared at game time, a dwarf with a hunchback. The bidding boxes hung over the table on metal rods and first to bid, he touched the box and it exploded out the bottom like dropping a boulder into a pool. I've never felt so doomed in my life and we lost a 7 board match 80 something to zip.

One of my favorite memories.

[y66]

Maybe there's more than one pencil woman. If it's the woman I'm thinking of, she's a heck of a bridge player and a pleasant table companion. I think she's also an active soccer player which is pretty amazing for someone in their late forties or early fifties. I think of her every time I go to the dentist because my dentist gives away pencils with cartoon characters and sports logos. Maybe she has the same dentist.

[Cyberyeti]

There is a player that used to play EBU events (may still do, but not seen her for a while) who has extremely poor eyesight. She requires a VERY bright light on the table to see her own cards, and her husband has to call the other cards for her as they're played.

The last 2 occasions I've played against her, I've left the table with a bad headache (from the light reflecting off the cards I think). Do I have any rights here if the directing staff have agreed to her having the lamp ?

There is also a now deceased more than useful player who had a skin complaint that flared up meaning he smelt absolutely disgusting, that was my most unpleasant experience at the table.

[Phil]

There are two players like this in Southern California. They both have been playing a long time and both are quite good.

The first is a very nice lady. She gets a stationary table with her husband and has a 100 watt lamp so she can see.

The 2nd is an elder gentleman. His eyesight is even worse and might only play 1-2 tournaments a year. He requires a special deck of cards with symbols that are about 1" high along with the high powered light. In order to see your hand you have to spread your cards very wide.

To play against both of these pairs is a minor inconvenience, however, after I leave their table I count my blessings. In the end it is no bother at all, and simply do not understand Cyberyeti's attitude about such matters.