The game is over, the winners are announced, players are leaving, and South approaches me.
"I'd like to report a psyche in the last round." (I didn't add the boldface, it is an accurate rendition.) South gives me the auction in the diagram above, trying to control some sort of seething anger. West and North are experienced enough to know within 5% what their score will be and leave within seconds of the last trick being played; they're long gone. But East, as it happens, is nearby, and overhears the conversation. "No, no, you're mistaken. West opened 2♠, not 2♥."
South is "certain it was 2♥." (Again, no embellishment by me.) East says, without any malice (or boldface, or even italics) in his voice, "I remember a 2♠ opener. If he had bid 2♥ I might still be bidding hearts with my hand."
South is still not convinced. Trying to be diplomatic, I point out that sometimes a player puts a bid-box card down and then makes a correction, so quickly that you might miss it if you blinked. Perhaps you missed the correction. South retreats to his seat to peruse the hand record further.
Now there are only a half-dozen people left in the room, East has left, and South approaches again. Again with the boldface: "I'm very upset that East would simply lie right to my face about the 2♥ call" he says. "We both saw it and there was no correction."
Oy vey. I grab a hand record. "Let's for the moment assume that you are correct. Psyches are legal, unless there is a pattern that makes their use an implied understanding. You've reported the psyche to me but I don't recall West ever psyching before, in all the years I have known him...but let's look at the hand. If West indeed opened 2♥, do you think East would pass after the takeout double? East-West are not even vulnerable. No player would pass!"
South says that this is evidence that they have a secret understanding about these bids and East knows not to raise.
I respond that they both walked in without partners and were put together five minutes before gametime.
South is still not convinced.
"Well, perhaps we can ask your partner what the opening bid was. I'm away for a week but I will see him before the month ends, and if there is something untoward going on here I can change the score before the results are sent to the ACBL." (There is no chance that this is going to happen: I am by now 100% certain that North will say the opening bid was 2♠...but I'd like to catch my train tomorrow and this conversation is beginning to look like that may be in jeopardy.) Looking at the overall score, I continue by saying that "your score might improve a bit and theirs might go down, if I decide that something was fishy."
South now notes that their score on the board was ... wait for it ... tied for top! It is all I can do to keep my eyes from rolling heavenward at this development.
One last try. "This was a North American Pairs club qualifying game, everyone at average or better automatically qualifies to play in the District Final, which this year is held in this city. Your opponents' final score was 52% and they got a bad score on this board, so they probably had a decent game going into the last round. West is an experienced player and it is difficult for me to believe that he would jeopardize a likely "Q" just to psyche on the last round. I'm sorry I can't agree with you, but the balance of the evidence that is available to us here and now leads me to believe that you simply misread the bid-box card. But I'll ask around about this when I return."
Away goes South without a word. But I doubt this is over...
"I'd like to report a psyche in the last round." (I didn't add the boldface, it is an accurate rendition.) South gives me the auction in the diagram above, trying to control some sort of seething anger. West and North are experienced enough to know within 5% what their score will be and leave within seconds of the last trick being played; they're long gone. But East, as it happens, is nearby, and overhears the conversation. "No, no, you're mistaken. West opened 2♠, not 2♥."
South is "certain it was 2♥." (Again, no embellishment by me.) East says, without any malice (or boldface, or even italics) in his voice, "I remember a 2♠ opener. If he had bid 2♥ I might still be bidding hearts with my hand."
South is still not convinced. Trying to be diplomatic, I point out that sometimes a player puts a bid-box card down and then makes a correction, so quickly that you might miss it if you blinked. Perhaps you missed the correction. South retreats to his seat to peruse the hand record further.
Now there are only a half-dozen people left in the room, East has left, and South approaches again. Again with the boldface: "I'm very upset that East would simply lie right to my face about the 2♥ call" he says. "We both saw it and there was no correction."
Oy vey. I grab a hand record. "Let's for the moment assume that you are correct. Psyches are legal, unless there is a pattern that makes their use an implied understanding. You've reported the psyche to me but I don't recall West ever psyching before, in all the years I have known him...but let's look at the hand. If West indeed opened 2♥, do you think East would pass after the takeout double? East-West are not even vulnerable. No player would pass!"
South says that this is evidence that they have a secret understanding about these bids and East knows not to raise.
I respond that they both walked in without partners and were put together five minutes before gametime.
South is still not convinced.
"Well, perhaps we can ask your partner what the opening bid was. I'm away for a week but I will see him before the month ends, and if there is something untoward going on here I can change the score before the results are sent to the ACBL." (There is no chance that this is going to happen: I am by now 100% certain that North will say the opening bid was 2♠...but I'd like to catch my train tomorrow and this conversation is beginning to look like that may be in jeopardy.) Looking at the overall score, I continue by saying that "your score might improve a bit and theirs might go down, if I decide that something was fishy."
South now notes that their score on the board was ... wait for it ... tied for top! It is all I can do to keep my eyes from rolling heavenward at this development.
One last try. "This was a North American Pairs club qualifying game, everyone at average or better automatically qualifies to play in the District Final, which this year is held in this city. Your opponents' final score was 52% and they got a bad score on this board, so they probably had a decent game going into the last round. West is an experienced player and it is difficult for me to believe that he would jeopardize a likely "Q" just to psyche on the last round. I'm sorry I can't agree with you, but the balance of the evidence that is available to us here and now leads me to believe that you simply misread the bid-box card. But I'll ask around about this when I return."
Away goes South without a word. But I doubt this is over...