[helene_t]

A few weeks ago my pd and I played against two old ladies at a pairs event. One of the opps kept complaing all the time about the bad behaviour of the youth these days.

My partner opened 2♠ and RHP asked what it meant. I said "weak".

- "What, is 2♠ be weak? Never heard of something like that. Obviously one of those new tricks played by younger players these day. The youth really behaves awfully these days ...." etc etc

After the round I thanked the opps for the pleasant game: "It was quite pleasant, considering the fact that we are such young and rude, wasn't it?"

[Double !]

Luis:
I must say that that was one of the funniest bridge stories that I have heard in decades. Kudos have to go to your partner for having the presence and the timing to jump up and praise those sunglasses the way he (or was it a she?) did. Perfect timing. And your poor opps totally lost any sense of reality. I actually feel badly for them/ wonder what they finally made of their reactions after they were able to get some space from the incident?

BTW: there might be a huge market for such sunglasses, especially if they can also see through the backs of traveler slips. Where can one purchase these extraordinary sunglasses?

DHL

[Joe de Balliol]

Any other stories Luis? Those two cracked me up!

[guggie]

A very long time ago I played with a male homosexual friend. It was in the seventies, we both had long curly hair.
We played again two friendly LOLs. One lady asked me: "Dearie, are you engaged?". I answered at my most serious sad tone: "I woul have loved it, but he refused". The ladies gave him several furious looks. He never put a right card at the table that tournament anymore;-)

We played another tournament and a pair of distracted gentlemen greeted us with: "Hi boys". I gave my p a surprised look and stuck out my bosom. We both giggled and played a nice table.
Next table another pair greeted us: "Hi girls". He shot me a hopeless look: What shall I put forward?"


Recently, my present p and I played a match against a couple, we were obviously winning and the male half grnyed at his wife all the time, played at lightning speed ticked his card on the table before dummy had played, etc etc. My p is very easy going, but I saw him coming under steam, and at last he asked: "Sir my I ask you a question, do you LIKE to play bridge?"
The man was stunned, his wife gave a nervous giggle.

[olegru]

Last week I was playing in swiss teams with accident partner.
Our opponents bid some ridiculous slam for down 2 and one of them asked another could this result be dublicated on the second table.
"Don't worry," answered my partner. "It will be. Our teammaters are idiots too."
Actualy he was right - there was no swing on that board.

[Sigi_BC84]

Luis, your stories and humour are just great. I would love to sit against ppl like you more often. Unfortunately most people are too preoccupied with pointing out partner's faults instead of developing some humour at the table. --Sigi

[luis]

Oh I have many funny stories, like the day I broke a chair when my pd passed my 4NT rkcb bid, I jumped from the chair, raised about 1 meter in the air, and I missed the chair on my way down falling to the floor while grabbing the chair desperately, the chair went down and broke in 2 pieces. My pd then said "my bidding is so powerful, I can make people jump in the air.... and 4NT was probably RKCB". Sometimes he takes a pass card from the bidding box and asks an opponent: "can you break a chair with this pass card? I can".

While playing a relay system we faced a pair that didn't like it, called it "stupid relay thing" and called us "silly relay guys", in the middle of a long relay auction (using screens) I bid 3♦ and my screenmate said "I pass" without putting a pass bid on the tray. I told him "you have to put a pass card in the tray" and the answer was...
"I'm not going to put a pass card in the tray every time you make one of your stupid relays, if you want you can put it yourself I just pass everything you bid from now on"
I could have called the TD and force him to put a pass card on the tray but a devilish idea crossed my mind. I used relays to ask about shape, then about aces, kings, queens and jacks, the bidding was up to 5NT. I was carefully putting a pass card on the tray for my opponent every time. When I had all the information I needed I bid 3NT put a pass card for my opponent and passed the tray. TD was called on the other side of the screen, TD came to my side, after some questions were asked the TD ruled that my LHO verbally anounced he was passing "any" bid made by me and that would include insufficient bids as long as they were legal, so the 3NT bid had to be accepted. In a nerve attack they missdefended and 3NT was made.

And there are a lot more, my pd is quite a character so whenever we face nasty opponents funny things happen. We finished 7th in a tourney with 20 kibs at our table while there were 1 or 2 kibs watching the leaders and all because a lot of funny things happened when a lady declared "I'm not going to tell you" when I asked about carding methods. But that's a different story...